What’s it take to be a man these days?

I find myself asking that question a lot. If you watch young boys

and how a lot of them are being brought up these days, you’ll find

yourself shaking your head as you ask it.

What are the important parts of being a MAN?

Just because you have the equipment doesn’t mean that women

perceive you as being “MANLY.” In fact, “manliness” has gotten a

bad rap.

And that has led a great many of us (including ME for many years)

to believe that we should be ashamed of being men.

Well, first and most importantly, you have to learn how to be

comfortable with just BEING a man.

With all the stupid messages you get from the media on things to

“enhance” your masculinity, you’d think that there was something

basically wrong with us right from the start, wouldn’t you?

You’re not long enough, hard enough, rich enough, or good looking

enough to get the woman you want – that’s what They tell you.

But the reality is that women are attracted to a man from emotions

– NOT appearance.

(Yes, we know that a hot guy will get more initial interest, but he

can’t KEEP it if he isn’t showing her the right Alpha traits.)

So here are my top 3 traits for you to work on your masculinity and

demonstrating your Alpha Manhood.

>> WARNING: I’m not pulling any punches here. If you have a weak

stomach, I suggest you close this email and go back about your day.

Still with me?

GOOD! I knew you had the stones.

Here we go…

*** ALPHA MAN TRAIT 1) Initiative – Leadership drive

Women LOVE leaders.

They love it when a guy takes the lead and just makes the decision

and goes with it.

Even if he’s wrong.

I make it a point when I’m out to ask women what they find most

un-attractive about men, and one thing comes up more than anything

else…

Indecisiveness and wishy-washy behavior.

Guys are trying to be “easy going” and cool, but they’re actually

being perceived as weak-kneed little girls.

The great thing about taking initiative is that by doing this, you

actually demonstrate two other POWERFUL traits that draw women in

like moths to a flame: Ambition and Power.

Just by demonstrating the initiative with a woman, you are

sub-communicating all the right things about your masculinity and

drive.

In order to take this initiative, most men need to feel…

*** ALPHA MAN TRAIT 2) Assertiveness/Confidence

It’s probably no secret to you that I don’t cater to “political

correctness.”

This story should help you understand how I feel:

There was a priest addressing his congregation, and he said to them

during his sermon: “There are millions of people out there starving

in the world today… and the problem is YOU DON’T GIVE A DAMN

about it!”

Then he said, “And the BIGGER problem is that MORE of you are

shocked by me saying ‘damn’ in church than you are about the fact

that there are millions of people starving out there!”

WOW.

And the thing about confidence is that it really translates into

another word that allows us to understand it better.

Confidence

is

CERTAINTY.

Just the fact that you are sure about something is what gives you

confidence.

… Are you sure you can throw a baseball?

… Are you certain about yourself?

… Are you sure about what you want?

… Are you certain about your ability to approach women?

Wherever you have certainty in life, you feel confidence.

And assertiveness is what comes from your confidence. You can be

more firm and assertive when you know what it is you want, and

you’re not willing to settle for less.

In order to exercise that confidence, we have to achieve…

***ALPHA MAN TRAIT 3) Emotional Control/Emotional Strength

Look, women are NOT attracted to men that cry on their shoulder.

They’re NOT attracted to men who are always talking about their

“feelings.”

Women want a man that is in control of his own emotional world.

You may hear women complain about the guy who’s “not in touch with

his emotions,” but the reality is that most of the guys who seem to

think they are in touch with their emotions are just PUPPETS of

their emotions.

There are really relatively few cases of guys who are strong and

emotionally controlled who just wake up one day and freak out

because their emotions had been bottled up inside them and went

thermo-nuclear.

I think a lot of ‘sensitive’ guys are afraid of this.

Forget about it!

You don’t have to be an emotional man to be “aware” of your emotions.

Don’t DENY your emotions, but don’t LIVE in them, either.

First and foremost is emotional CONTROL. That’s your big responsibility

as an Alpha Man.

*** BONUS ALPHA MAN EXERCISE: Do something BALLSY.

I mean do something that takes a pair of good-sized gonads.

I’m not talking about walking into Victoria’s Secret with your

female friend while she buys a new bra, either.

Here are some “fake ballsy” and “REAL ballsy” activities so you

know what I mean:

FAKE ballsy: Writing a nasty comment on someone’s Youtube video…

REAL ballsy: Sitting down with your friend and setting him straight

on how he’s wussing out in his life…

I go on Youtube to look up good martial arts training videos, and

I’m ASTONISHED at the 3rd grade comments and flame wars that people

get into. The Internet has devolved into a cesspool of egos

battling it out for who’s “right” about something.

Real balls means that you’re using your character to do something

difficult that most other people wouldn’t risk, because they don’t

want to ‘hurt someone’s feelings.’

Or they don’t want to ‘confront’ someone…

Look, we know that men are here to DO the things other people fear.

FAKE ballsy: Wearing the t-shirt of your favorite heavy metal band.

REAL ballsy: Wearing a t-shirt with “Got Dick?” on it…

True story: I had a friend named Dan in high school who came in with a

t-shirt that read, “If it ain’t stiff, it ain’t worth a f*ck.”

He got suspended for a day or two for that. But I also remember him

doing that and secretly wishing I had the nads to be that brave.

(Oh, and the girls were talking about him for WEEKS after that.)

I got my chance a few years back when I went to a sushi place in

San Francisco and bought their t-shirt that said: “Your fish smells

like pussy.”

I wore that out one day and got a lot of comments from women that I

could tell were secretly loving it – even as they were telling me

“that’s not a nice t-shirt…”

Yeah. “Not-nice.”

That thing that women say they don’t want, but somehow always pursue.

Got me on that one, ma’am.

You see, every so often you have to break those shackles of

“political correctness” and “niceness” that has defined you.

Stop being the boring “nice guy” that makes women yawn and roll

their eyes.

Stop seeking approval. If I had chosen to go that route, I’d never

have had the opportunity to help guys like you to get the

confidence and women they want in life.

I’d have crumpled like a wet taco when the first person wrote me an

email saying he disagreed with my teachings.

(Funny, I don’t get those emails anymore.)

SHOCK someone… Be different.

Ask yourself: How alive are you willing to be?

Dare to live your life on your own terms, and you’ll feel a sense

of liberation and Alpha Masculinity that will open up a new world

to you.

It’s the world where you get what you want – and what you deserve.

Talk to you again soon…

Your friend,

Carlos Xuma

PS: It’s easy to take a message like this and nod your head in

agreement, but then go back to the same old ways…

“Forget about it,” that voice in your head says. “Go back to being

happy and blissfully ignorant.”

Until you run into the same challenges again and again…

Instead, why not make today different? Why not make it the day you

finally went after what YOU wanted?

REMEMBER: Either you will make yourself, or the world

will change you – against your will.

Which do you want?