Beware the fallacy of “Expertise”
I got an email recently that I think you’ll appreciate. Have a look at it, because it really illustrates an important understanding of how Alpha Men think versus other guys out there.
QUESTION:
I stumbled upon your Podcasts on Itunes and was interested in what you had to say.
I have seen other, what I would consider to be, scam websites that look much like yours. You have quotes from very strangely named people, Excell, who names their son Excell?
These are the first sources of my skepticism.
Second, who made you the expert on this stuff?
What kind of research, experiments, recorded observations, successes have you made that allows you to make these statements?
Do you have any educational background for this?
Or after 20 years did you just wake up one day and decide you had all the answers and were going to spread the “truth”?
Now that said, I think you bring up a lot of good points that make sense and are evolutionarily accurate.
For example, your talk about how traditionally there was not an issue of man attracting women because there were strong male role-models who acted like men, where as today media and political views have distorted our view of what a man should be.
I am interested in your products, but I believe that with anything you find on the internet there is a required amount of caution and skepticism.
– Brandon
ANSWER:
Normally, I would pass right over an email like this because there are so many others deserving of an answer, but I so rarely get ones like this that I wanted to do the courteous thing for once instead of dismissing it.
First of all, yes, a lot of people feel that a healthy amount of skepticism is fine. But the reality is that people use the “skepticism” excuse to avoid change or questioning their ego much of the time.
Skepticism is NOT healthy.
Skepticism is looking for a reason to NOT do something.
CURIOSITY, on the other hand, is the healthy attitude.
- Skepticism is closed. Curiosity is open.
- Skepticism is avoiding. Curiosity is seeking.
Skepticism is fear. Plain and simple.
Fear of growth. Fear of change. Fear of the unknown. Fear of taking charge of our own lives.
The question is not “What if this is a scam?” (I’ve been around for 5 years doing this. I’m a household name when it comes to giving guys the advice that gets them women. A little research will clear that up for you.)
The more important question is: “What if it really works?”
THAT is the question most “skeptics” are trying to avoid. Hey, it’s easier to say “I doubt” than “I wonder…”
It’s easier to chuckle at something (like a guy’s name – yes, it’s really Excel, and it’s a GREAT name if you think about it…) than it is to commit to using information that will change you.
Change is scary. So is getting educated.
Look back in history at the nay-sayers who have held us back from progress over the centuries. They’ve always been the ‘skeptics’ and the ones who say “Who are you to say…”
- “Who are you to say the earth is round?”
- “Who are you to say the earth revolves around the sun?”
- “Who are you to say you can break the 4 minute mile?”
People with an open mind have marked all of mankind’s upward progress over the ages.
Look, I’ve been in the field of personal development for YEARS.
When was the last time you got information from a Harvard professor that HELPED you with your dating life?
My guess? Never.
When it comes to dating and women, the only people who are experts are the ones who are successful DOING it.
I am. And my information and testimonials stand on their own. Read them here.
PhDs look at reports and graphs. I break down women’s behavior and make it understandable.
It’s not empirical evidence that you need – it’s healthy CURIOSITY.
Instead of standing back with your arms crossed trying to convince yourself that you’re the Smart Dude for not doing anything, do this:
- Search my name on the internet: Carlos Xuma. Take a look at all the great locations I’ve been published. (By the way, I just added beer.com as another location that has me for their resident advisor.)
- Look at the list of sites, radio, television, etc. that I’ve been on. You can find a list of them here. What’s that? You haven’t seen me on TV? Go watch my TV spot here.
- Everything I sell is offered through a credible online merchant (Worldpay) and you can get a refund if you are not satisfied. Period. All you have to do is send it back to me. I take ALL the risk for you.
- Search your heart and ask yourself why you are resisting the opportunity to grow. Is it really ‘skepticism,’ or FEAR?
Everything in life is risk. You take more risks with your life just leaving the house in the morning. Why is this such a big deal for you?
But keep this in mind: You are guaranteeing your own problems with women if you DON’T get this understanding. You’re not RISKING this result – you are assuring it!
I was recently in the office of a few people I knew, when my latest product was revealed to be something I created. (They had no idea I was a dating advisor or “guru”…)
Well, it created an interesting situation, as many of the people were embarrassed (not me, funny enough), and others stuck their foot in their mouth before they knew it was me.
One of the guys who walked in and discovered my dating guru work is a punk who is about the most misguided individual I know. I just KNEW he’d have something wise-ass and loserboy to say, and he didn’t disappoint.
“Are you married?” he asked. I already knew where he was leading with his questions.
“Nope.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” he asked.
“Yep,” I said. “Is there something else you need to know?”
“I just wondered what gave you the right to advise people on their relationships.”
That sounds like a good point, but the “rational” thinking he was using was faulty for the following reasons:
- Questioning someone’s “expertise” is the fallacy of “poisoning the well.” You try and disqualify the information by disqualifying the source. Nice try, dude. Read my newsletters for just a week or two and you’ll realize I speak the Truth.
- What kind of a gauge of success is marriage? NONE. With over half of all marriages ending in divorce, marriage does NOT indicate success. In fact, it seems to guarantee that 50 percent of the people will break up. How’s that for odds?
- Most people think of “experts” as having some kind of degree or professional accreditation. Let’s face it, the authors of all those relationship self-help books can’t help you get women, because they aren’t doing it. They aren’t out there picking up new expertise every day in approaching and developing attraction because ATTRACTION IS NOT LOGICAL. They’ll tell you all about the “great white light of love” but they ignore that humans are neurotic and dysfunctional. (Yes, lovable, too.)
Everything in life is risk. But you’re guaranteeing your own problems with women if you don’t get this understanding.
