Flirting With Women – Tips for Creating ‘Magical’ Attraction
I got an email the other day, and I wanted to share his pickup story with you, along with some of my more effective techniques for approaching and flirting with women.
Yes, I could have used his email as a reason for shameless bragging, but there’s something else in here that I want to show you. This email really hits on some important secrets about flirting with women – and just how easy flirting with women can be.
Read on…
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SUCCESS STORY FROM A READER:
Carlos, using your techniques, I approached a lovely young woman at a nightclub the other night. She was to me the most attractive woman there. She’s born only a few hundred meters from where I was raised, so she knows who I am. But she’s 22, so we’ve never talked that much.
I went straight up to her and said: “Hi.” She responded with a smile and a “Hi.”. We talked for a few minutes, I was joking around, and she laughed all the time.
Then she asked me: “Why did you approach me?” I immediately remembered your words, and said: “Because I feel you have a great energy about you” (or something like that in Norwegian ) She smiled.
It wasn’t the answer she expected. So I told her: “You seem like a woman who’s got your feet on the ground. Give me your number, and I may call you one day, and we’ll do something fun together.” I got it right away 🙂
Afterwards I felt like jelly. I have never done anything like this. But what fun! 🙂 And she’s actually found me on this web community, sent me a message telling me I was an example to other men.
What a great start.
This just proves that your teachings works in Norway as well as in the U.S. It’s universal.
Thank you… – Mikael
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Well, I think you’ve realized something here that is so important that it bears some explanation.
Something that happens to a lot of guys when they start working on themselves to be more attractive and to start flirting with women…
They suddenly get very serious about their approach to women.
In other words, they suddenly become ten times more self-conscious and aware of the impression they are giving off, and then they shut down entirely from walking up to women.
That was the primary reason I wrote The Dating Black Book. I wanted to find a way to get rid of that fearful self-awareness I was carrying around with me for so long, and I wanted to get back to just being cool with women.
(One thing I noticed was that the more I wrote down all my anxious thoughts, the more my mind was clear. It was like emptying out my ‘brain attic’ of all the useless obsessive thoughts…)
And it’s this “hyper-awareness” that makes it difficult to approach and talk to women, much less flirting with women.
It’s ironic that – with all this information on how to attract women and all the techniques out there – that getting so focused on your approach would actually hurt your game with women.
When you said that you “felt like jelly,” that reminded me of my own experience when I finally found the courage to approach a woman and started flirting with her. I was so amazed that she was into my conversation that I found myself feeling a bit ‘wobbly’ – like jelly. It’s a “happy” kind of nervous.
But there’s one very important part of your message that a lot of guys will miss, so I want to point it out here…
Yes, the techniques and tips I teach in my books and programs for flirting with women really works – AND the tips work just as well with women of almost every culture on the planet.
Here’s why:
1) Flirting with women is really a universal communication tool.
You see, we all speak the same universal language and we all have a great many things in common when it comes to attraction between men and women.
2) What women want is NOT a function of culture.
Men often make the mistake of believing that women in the United States are somehow ‘different’ in their desires and needs.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
It’s tempting to make excuses that things work “different” somewhere else, but the only reality to this is that women in other countries are often more in touch with their femininity – more than here in the U.S., where many women are not aware of what being a “real woman” is like.
However much cultural programming goes on, you can’t override mother nature.
So let’s cover my top 4 ‘soft’ tips for flirting with women to create attraction in the first critical seconds of meeting her.
NOTE: These tips I’m about to give you are not some kind of hardcore “pickup technique.”
In fact, they are what you might call ‘soft’ techniques that allow you to be even more alluring to a woman in just a few seconds. They work without words, which makes them even more powerful.
4 ‘Soft’ Tips for Flirting With Women & Creating Fast Attraction
Flirting Tip 1) Make ‘sticky-mushy’ eye contact with her.
I call this kind of look the “mushy” kind because it’s very soft, vulnerable, and almost puppy-dog in its innocence.
Ever look at a puppy, or any dog really, and notice just how quiet and open their gaze is?
This is the same thing you want to communicate with your eye contact. You want it to be “sticky” in the sense that it sticks on her a little and you don’t look away right away. (Looking down from a woman meeting your gaze is a submissive and UN-attractive behavior.)
Flirting Tip 2) Breathe in her femininity.
I’m not talking about her perfume here, either.
When I say “breathe” in her femininity, I’m referring to really absorbing a woman into your mind and body in a very spiritual kind of way.
You must really look at her, and see her essentially female traits. Imagine that every bit of her that is a woman, that is sexually alluring to you, is like a fine mist about her.
If I can be a bit philosophical here, you want to drink this mist into your very presence with this woman.
I realize this may sound a bit “woo-woo” and out there, but it’s a deeply moving experience when you open yourself up and let a woman in on this level. It’s a way of looking past all her defensive, diva, ‘bitchy’ behaviors, and really seeing the woman that’s inside her.
By the way, this mental opening to women also loosens you up and takes away all of the “approach anxiety.”
Flirting Tip 3) Soften your expression and your heart.
You’ll probably find that if you do #1 and #2 correctly, this one takes care of itself.
You’ve got to let down a bit of that rigid macho guard you have up around you when you are flirting with women. Women can sense when you’re keeping up your own shield, and they interpret it as posturing and insecurity.
You need to let your face relax and open up. Soften.
The overall effect is to make you a lot more approachable, which can also lead women into opening YOU up and approaching you.
Flirting Tip 4) Laugh in your heart – no matter what.
No matter what response you get from a woman, you want to let her know that you only deal in your own reality.
And that means that there is nothing she can do TO you. She can’t reject you or harm you or make you feel any less of a man.
Keeping your power to yourself is a critical component of your masculinity.
Don’t ever give up your most powerful and attractive quality – for anyone!
Women will test you. It’s a fact.
But your response to her moments of seeming childishness and brattiness is completely under your power.
COMPLETELY.
And she knows this, which is why she tests you in the first place.
To see what kind of a man you really are.
Are you an Alpha?
Or are you a chump?
If you can keep a sense of humor about you and not let your cage get rattled – EVER – you will understand one of the core components of your own masculinity.
And here’s a bonus method to reframe your approach anxiety…
When you walk up and talk to a woman, just before you do it, tell yourself that this one is already a loss. It’s a guaranteed rejection. But you will still approach her and use it as a learning tool, since you’ve already accepted the loss.
In other words – let her go before you try to “get” her.
Most guys spend the whole time they walk up to a woman and talk to her trying to GET her all the while. Instead, why not spend the time just letting her go, but seeing how you can feel comfortable in that space?
Can you go there and be okay with no results?
Just staying cool, calm and in your own zone?
This one frame of mind is not meant to be self-defeating or negative, but to open you up and get you to let go of the “need” that cloaks you when you’re flirting with women.
Now get out there and start meeting women.
Not tomorrow, or next week…
Right NOW.
To learn more about the rules of handling women – the confident ALPHA way – go take a look at my “Dating Tips For Guys”
<a TARGET=”_new” href=”http://www.datingdynamics.com“>dating tips for guys</a>.
Stay Alpha!
– Carlos Xuma
