Q & A with Carlos: Do Pickup Lines REALLY Work…?
Pick Up Lines – Learn the Truth: Do Pickup Lines REALLY Work…?
Have you ever heard of “pick up lines” before?
Of course you have… Guys have been using them for YEARS.
Or, well… I should say they’ve been thinking about using them. They’re actually more of a kind of joke than they are a real way to meet women, right?
I mean, have you ever said this to a woman:
“If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?”
Rrrrrright.
Here are just a few of the pick up lines I’ve heard in my time:
– “If you were a new sandwich at Mcdonalds, you’de be called the McGorgeous.”
– “If you were a booger I’d pick you first.”
– “I’m not actually this tall, I’ve got this bad habit of sitting on my wallet.”
– “Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.”
Are these pick up lines funny? Yeah. In the way that a one-line joke is amusing.
I chose only the least cheesy lines, too, because most pickup lines SUCK.
BAD.
Mostly because they show ZERO calibration and sensitivity. They come across as bad jokes you might hear instead of a REAL way to open a conversation with a woman.
*** So you might ask: Are there any pickup lines that work?
Yes, some pickup lines DO work.
But they are not what you think of as “pick up lines…”
First, before I talk about the ones that work, I want to tell you why guys are so hung up on searching for the latest pick up line.
Here’s why:
A pickup line is a deflection and a crutch.
What I mean by that is that when you walk up and use a pickup line on a woman, and it doesn’t work, and she squints at you and tells you to get lost, she’s not really rejecting YOU, right?
She’s rejecting the Pickup line. And now you can blame the LINE instead of yourself. It was the Line’s fault!
Sounds kinda goofy, but that’s the psychology of it.
But that’s also why you never really hear any guys using these things on the street. I know you are the kind of guy that knows these pickup lines are lame, and you want something more substantial and GENUINE to say.
AND you also want something easy that you can use to start a conversation.
So what you’re really looking for is an “opener.” I’ll get back to this in a second.
Here’s the biggest secret about your “pick up line” that you MUST use to your advantage. It’s probably the single most important thing you need to know about women, by the way.
It’s this…
It doesn’t matter what the first thing you say to a woman is… (as long as it’s not vulgar or downright stupid.)
What matters is what you say to her after she responds.
Let me repeat that for the cheap seats:
What REALLY matters is what you say to her AFTER she responds to your opening line.
So if you walk up to a woman and say, “You’re really stunning, and I’d love to get to know you…”
or maybe you open with, “Hey, I just had to let you know you’ve got a great energy about you…”
And she replies, “Oh, that’s so sweet!” And she stands there smiling at you, waiting.
NOW what do you say?
What you say next is even MORE important than your opener because it’s what tells her why you’re there talking with her, how confident you are, and whether or not she should be interested in getting to know more about you.
She needs to know what you’re made of. And your response tells her more than what you said to open the conversation, believe it or not.
After all, you could have rehearsed your pick up line for weeks, or read it out of a book, or gotten it online, right?
But you wouldn’t be able to predict what she was going to say, so the next thing out of your mouth is going to be very REAL to your conversation.
If you hesitate, or look like you’re going back into your head to check your memorized pickup responses, she will see it in your eyes.
When I first found out about how women pick up on this stuff, I was AMAZED that it was so obvious that I was running around in my head the way I was. And this is the one thing you can’t get into the habit of doing.
Unfortunately, pickup artist advice only tells you how to go further and further into your head with pre-programmed responses.
But you do need some things to say, though. You just don’t want to try to memorize EVERYTHING you can possibly say. That’s just too much.
Now, the two openers I gave you above actually work really well.
“You’re stunning, and I’d love to get to know you…”
“Hey, I just had to let you know you’ve got a great energy about you…”
Yes, telling a woman that she’s beautiful is not necessarily bad. It’s HOW guys tell women that creeps them out, and that’s why you should hold off on direct compliments like this until you really understand what women want.
In other words, if you don’t understand WHY that can be a really bad pickup line/opener for a woman, then you shouldn’t be using it.
The second one, “…you’ve got a great energy about you…” is very good for a direct opening line. It’s to-the-point, and not a suck-up compliment that will make her wonder what your agenda is.
Remember, when you walk up to a woman, the only thing she wants to know – the BIG question in her head – is “Why is this guy talking to me?”
And she’ll answer it one of three ways:
1 – Oh, he’s just chatty…
2 – Oh, he’s interested in me… Cool!
3 – Oh, he’s interested in me… Yuck.
The difference between #2 and #3 (“cool” or “yuck”) is just one thing – how relaxed and non-needy you seem to be with her.
What I mean by non-needy is this: Do you seem like you’re trying to just GET something from her – her number, a date, a one-night stand, etc. – or are you trying to have some fun?
I’m going to leave you with a pickup line that my buddy Lance uses, and this one is great. I honestly wish I’d thought of this one, because it’s so simple and easy to remember.
Just walk up to a woman and say, “Do you have the time?”
She’ll start to tell you what time it is, and you just wave your hands at her and say, “Actually I already know what time it is. I just wanted an excuse to flirt with you.”
And that will always get you a smile and a laugh.
And THAT is your goal!
Then, what you say next is easy: “So what brings you out here today?”
If you’re out during the day, that works wonders. Even if you’re in a bar or club, you can still ask her and her friends: “So how do you all know each other…?”
Classy, smooth, and it’s the perfect pick up line for any situation.
Stay Alpha!
Carlos Xuma
