Question & Answer With Carlos
QUESTION:
While reading your e-book and listening to your audio sessions I recently came across your take on someone’s attitude when meeting women and how they should have a specific mindset. Well, how do you actually change your mindset or thinking? For example, do you just recite out loud the new ideas in your head over and over or what?
When reading about how to be more cocky and funny, I had been mostly working on the lines and jokes. Then I recently realized that it was actually cocky and funny ATTITUDE. I read that its the attitude that you must work on rather than the jokes and lines and that you must have a specific mindset (and character) when approaching a women to become successful at doing this. Well, my question is, how do you develop this attitude or mindset?
—————
CARLOS ANSWERS:
It’s always about ATTITUDE.
You see, you can do ANYTHING and it will work if you have the right attitude.
However, if you don’t have the right attitude, NOTHING you do will work.
Why is this?
Part of it is due to your body language and a TON of subtext and communication that is going on when you talk to a woman.
Scientific studies have proven that 83% of all communication occurs at a level outside of the words you speak. In other words, the actual things you say are only 17% of the actual communication that’s going on. Everything else is eye contact, tone, inflection, body posture, pacing, etc.
That’s why it’s so important that you SAY things WITH CONVICTION.
You cannot communicate what you don’t BELIEVE. Listen to TV preachers for an example. You can tell when they’re communicating with conviction. You can hear it and see it. Even over the miles of distance to your television screen, you FEEL what they’re communicating.
All great speakers have this POWER.
And even average guys like you and me can learn how to use it.
Now, as for your question about how you change your thinking, well that’s where you need to start NEW HABITS of thought.
(Incidentally, I cover this subject completely in my new audio program and e-book on Secrets of the Alpha Man. It’s all about how to drop the Nice Guy routine and get laid with a dominant male attitude.)
It starts with recognizing what you’re thinking, and either ignoring it, or changing it.
The easiest way to change your thinking is to ACT like the person you want to be.
However FEAR always tries to get in the way. It’s our FEARS that stop us from acting the way we would like.
You need to identify where you are letting your fears and emotions run wild and override your reason.
It starts with BEHAVIOR.
The quickest way to change your thinking is to change your BEHAVIOR. The more you ACT like the person you want to be, the more the thoughts and attitudes will start to creep in and build inside you.
You can’t smile and laugh without feeling good inside. It’s just NOT possible. That’s an example of action influencing thought.
It’s impossible to go up to 20 women and introduce yourself without feeling more confident about the process when you’re done (or the next time you go out and try.)
The ones who don’t believe this never actually DO THE WORK, and therefore never find out. I’ll get a ton of letters from everyone complaining EXCEPT the guy who actually DOES IT and sees for himself. Funny, huh?
You’ve got to TRAIN your mind to be confident and cocky.
It’s the ACTION that gets you to start changing your thinking. You can’t just change all your thoughts and suddenly jump into the seduction game anew and be a success. You start by going in there and making a mess.
Screw up a bunch of them, and then learn from it. Go in and don’t be afraid to make mistakes. That’s what separates the men from the stay-at-home beat-off beta guys.
You approach more women to feel more confident about it, and then the fear will go away.
You try out a ton of cocky things to say, and after you say a bunch (without needing her to approve of you – VERY important) THEN you will start to get the attitude. Yes, if you have to, start by faking it until you make it.
The ATTITUDE is mixed right in there with the action, and it’s not a separate ingredient, like adding eggs to your cake batter. You develop it WITH the behavior and words.
It may seem like this is a chicken-and-the-egg situation, but it really isn’t. It’s only as complicated or difficult as you make it.
The “ATTITUDE” is simply this ONE way of thinking:
“I DON’T CARE WHAT SHE THINKS ABOUT ME.”
That sounds so simple, but 95% of all guys go at this with an attitude that her opinion of him is going to CRUSH him, and that her opinion of him somehow MATTERS.
No one makes you inferior without your permission, guys.
But, as I said, most guys want to go in with no risk, and they wind up in search of this “perfect system.” Which doesn’t exist.
We talk about this phenomenon all the time in Martial Arts. There are these guys who want to find the “perfect art” that kicks all the other’s ass, and they’re COMPLETELY missing the point.
It’s not WHAT they’re doing, it’s HOW they’re doing it. If they took the time to learn one art to mastery, they’d GET IT. Instead, they look for the solution as being something OUTSIDE themselves.
It’s all about using your strengths and attitudes to communicate an ALPHA MAN attitude to women.
