Question & Answer with Carlos
QUESTION:
Carlos, I’ve had great success this year with your methods. My success rate has gone up about 300% on last year – seriously cool. The ‘teasing’ in the early meetings with chicks works wonders. Why aren’t we taught this in school?
Ok, so I’m hitting on this new chick. We worked together behind the bar at this special event. Every time we were near each other I slipped in another teasing comment. We were very busy so there was never enough time for her to fire back a decent comeback. Needless to say this made her very interested in me. So I got her number at the end of the shift and we had our first date yesterday.
At the end of the night I realized she’s a bit of a ‘good girl’ and I wouldn’t get sex straight away. But she couldn’t resist leaving me without a goodbye kiss. I know *I* should have initiated the kiss, but I feel my behavior led her to act first. I said I’d see her again … ‘if she was lucky’!
*BUT here’s the kicker – After the kiss I felt a huge urge for her. I really want her now!
I’m determined not to call her for a few days to keep her thinking, but I don’t want this lust feeling because it might make me do things you preach against. How do I stay strong and cool and detached after intimate moments?
DT, Western Australia.
————————–
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Great story! That is very cool. Guys out there should notice that these strategies WORK.
I know that I say never to do the traditional (boring) dinner and movie, but the truth is that if you can take on the right confident Alpha Attitude, you can do anything you like on the first “date.”
The short answer for how to stay cool is that you should immediately use a little visualization to counter the negative affects of “puppy love.”
You see, after that first moment of intimacy, your imagination is going wild with the possibilities. You’re falling victim to a whole soup of biochemicals surging through your brain that are trying to set your focus on one woman. This is an evolutionary strategy designed for mating.
The reality is that you’re creating wild-eyed dreamy possibilities before it’s warranted. You need to back off and remember that NO WOMAN can bear up to our romantic imaginations.
You see, I believe that all guys are inherently interested in finding a good woman to settle down with. A woman that challenges us is a VITAL requirement.
So you’re falling into the trap of believing in all the “limerance” (Limerance is that WOW feeling when you get that initial burst of attraction). You’re not noticing all the flaws she really has, like hammer toes and morning stinky-breath.
We always overlook a woman’s obvious issues in the beginning. Heck, some of them are even CUTE – early on. “You should see the way she laughs! She has this little snort!”
Six months down the road: “If she laughs like that ONE more time, I’m going to go out of my MIND!”
Today’s cuteness can turn into next month’s annoyance.
But you need help overcoming this illusion of perfection at the start so you don’t fall prey to the mighty power of the love drugs in your brain.
One tactic that you can use now is to imagine her in some really gross situations, like this girl taking a ferocious crap. (Which I can tell you that she does, even if it isn’t a romantic or pretty picture.) Just imagine her on the porcelain throne a few times, taking a massive pooper. That will bring you back to the real world.
Part of the problem with most guys is that they idealize women and put them on a pedestal. This is a dangerous and obsessive way of thinking.
An even better way to avoid this kind of obsession is to shift your attention immediately to another consuming passion, like fixing cars, or playing guitar, or whatever your hobby might be.
Get involved enough in your own life, and women become a nice addition rather than an obsession. Keep your passions alive, and you also become even MORE attractive to women.
That should help you get through your loss of self-control.
You bring up a very interesting situation, which is common to so many guys. When we get a little sniff of success, we’re like sharks around blood in the water. We start to get that glossy look in our eyes, and our pecker-compass starts following her.
There’s a hormone called Oxytocin that is released in response to pleasurable and intense emotional states, usually linked with physical contact. This is one of those “love drugs” I mentioned.
Ever wondered why a massage feels so good? Why a good hug can make your spine tingle?
It’s because evolution created this kind of response in you so that you would bond with others you touch regularly. Oxytocin also helps women bond with their babies and ensure a lasting connection.
As for teaching my material in school…
Well, yeah… they really OUGHT to teach teasing and attraction strategies like this, and how touch affects you romantically.
This information is not “politically correct” even if it is factually and correct in REALITY. So I can assure you that “Women 101” will not be on your class schedule anytime soon.
Education leads to understanding. Understanding leads to better choices. Better choices lead to better results.
And results are ALL that matters when it comes to the game of women.
Keep reading these newsletters to get the Truth – and the Results.
– Carlos Xuma
http://www.alphaconfidence.com
