Question & Answer with Carlos
QUESTION: Power plays amongst guy friends.
I swear that sometimes my friends seem like they are trying cockblock me for no reason. I am talking to a girl they try to out-alpha me even when they are not into this chick. The things they do are very subtle and I am sure unconscious.
If I were to be direct and call them on it, they would think I am making things up and going crazy. I think sometimes friends, even good friends have a part of them that do not want to be out-succeeded by other friends.
For instance a friend of mine, Mark… A few times when I am gaming a chick, he will drop in our conversations very sexual innuendoes, like us having a 3some. It pisses me off when he does this. Or, sometimes he’ll just ask questions like “do spit or swallow”, “how are you shaved below”.
I’ve confronted him on this and he feels that I am taking this too seriously. His belief is…. all women are dishonest sluts anyways.
Overall how so I hold my ground with my friends? How do I call them out on this bs?
I sometimes wonder why I should be friends with them at all…
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CARLOS ANSWERS:
You’re experiencing something that almost every guy does once he realizes that there are strategies and tactics that drive a woman’s attraction up for a man.
You’re absolutely right: Most guys do NOT like to see their friends get more success with women.
You’re also discovering that most guys HAVE NO GAME with women.
In my experience coaching thousands of guys, I can tell you right now that if you were to ask 100 men if they knew how to “handle” women, 100 would say “Yes.” But in reality, only 5 would have any REAL Game with women.
And I’m not exaggerating.
The reality is that most men will let their ego get in the way of learning the techniques for being really successful with women. It’s more important to them to cling to their shaky self-image than it is to get humble and get the skills I teach.
The truth is that YOU must choose which friends you go out with when you want to meet women. Most of the guys you know are probably not suitable for this.
I’m not saying you need to totally ditch these guys, but someone like Mark is a poisonous influence on your game. Someone with this kind of bitterness and gender anger is on a self-destructive spiral. Don’t be in the blast radius when he decides to go into a meltdown.
The reason these guys pull this crap is that they’re covering up their own lack of ability with women with: 1) Alcohol and 2) Sarcastic and hating comments disguised as humor.
Then, when their self-fulfilling prophecy comes true, they blame it on women as a way to justify their lonely existence. It’s always easier to point a finger at someone else than it is to take on the process of self-improvement.
You don’t need to hold your ground with these guys, because the game they play with you is usually not winnable. It goes something like this:
A) Mark, man-with-no-game, sees someone else getting more success than him with a woman.
B) Mark gets jealous and petty. Decides that if he can’t do well with women, you won’t either.
C) Mark brings out his “Loser-Boy” obnoxious Frat-boy behavior to make you look bad and bust your game.
D) When you get sick of his behavior, he pulls out the “I’ll make it seem like his fault” gambit, where he blames you for being the insecure and uptight one – to cover his own poor behavior. If you confront him, you make him look right. If you don’t confront him, he still wins.
It truly does seem like a no-win situation, and the solution is this: DON’T get into it in the first place.
Just because Mark is your buddy, doesn’t mean he’s appropriate to bring out in public. You can hang with him at the mall, or any sober situation where he can act like a grown-up, but when it comes to you and your life in pursuit of women, he’s not welcome.
I know how frustrating this is. The fact is that most guys act this way when their mask is about to be pulled off and they’re about to be revealed for who they really are. The best you can do for Mark is to send him a Christmas package with some of my dating advice programs in it and hope that he wakes the hell up before it’s too late.
Remember: Not all of your friends are suitable for EVERY area of your lifestyle. You must be smart and picky about where you include certain people. An Alpha Man can still keep them as friends, but recognize that some friends are not appropriate in all situations.
Don’t react with frustrated anger… Take confident ACTION.
– Carlos Xuma
http://www.alphaconfidence.com
