Question & Answer with Carlos

QUESTION: 

My rating on hotornot.com is 9.4/10, I’m in very good shape and muscular because I work out a lot and take very good care of myself. Chicks dig me, and I definitely turn a lot of heads around. 

At school I often don’t have to do anything for girls to just come and talk to me and be very friendly. 

My question is: How can I use my handsomeness to my advantage? Don’t I need to somewhat alter the strategies you teach to get a woman into bed with me? 

I’ll be honest with you, since girls check me out so intensely I tend to freak out and get sort of paralyzed because I know they like me a lot. That sort of scares me so I don’t take action. 

Should I still ask for phone numbers and use the normal method or because of my looks should I behave in a specific and different way?

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CARLOS ANSWERS: 

I’m thinking we should chip in for this poor guy so he can get some plastic surgery and look like the rest of us. 

First of all, as you can see, just being good looking does NOT assure you of success with women. Having good looks is like having a slight head start on the racetrack of attraction. It’s a bonus, but it does not mean an easy win.

As I always say, beware easy success. You never learn from it the same way you do through the difficult successes (or the failures.) You’re never forced to analyze and understand what’s really going on. And as a result, you’re bad habits stick with you a lot longer. 

So the question is, do good looks help or hinder you? 

And should you change your behavior? 

Well, being good looking is a double-edged sword. You see, initially, it helps you because you have an immediate “chemistry” with more women. They have a higher interest and attraction level in you right off the bat. 

On the other hand, your looks work against you when women wonder, “Is he just a player? Does he really want ME or a notch in his belt?” 

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, just because you’ve got the looks doesn’t mean they’re lining up to jump in bed with you based on your appearance. You still have to do the right things in the right amount, as I teach here and in my programs. 

I suspect that your reluctance is working to your benefit (when you “freak out”, as you say) and women sense that you’re not trying to jump down their pants immediately. You’ve got a little humility. And this translates as an endearing form of “hard-to-get.” 

Good. That’s what you need to keep doing. 

The second you start to get too cocky and arrogant about your looks, the women will sense this and put up a few “trust hurdles” right away. Women immediately distrust a man that gives off an ultra-smooth presentation. You need to be smooth without looking like you’re smooth.

Get it?

You can still use my tease-to-please technique and bust their balls (in fact, that’s mandatory), but you shouldn’t joke as much about your “devastating good looks” or how she should just be dying to spend time with you, not even sarcastically.

Turn down the cockiness a notch. Actually, several notches. That kind of behavior will likely backfire coming from a good-looking guy.  

Instead, turn up the humor and make yourself very down-to-earth. These will work wonders for you, by challenging the women and at the same time showing them that you’re not a “player.”  

The key points here are:  

1) Keep doing the things you normally would to hook up with women. Get phone numbers and dates.  

2) Back off on the things that might make them think you’re too full of yourself. Beware too much cockiness and arrogance.  

3) Challenge women a little more. Divert their attention from your looks to their inner feelings of desire. Your looks will only get you so far before they will need to feel a compelling reason to sleep with you.  

4) Play up your value by playing hard-to-get – but be attainable. Joking with her about how you’re “not easy” will only improve your perceived value in her eyes, especially when you start to seem like someone she could actually get.

Remember, skills in seducing women aren’t programmed into your DNA. Just because you’re a guy – or a good looking guy – doesn’t mean you know this stuff. So keep doing the right things in the right order.