Question & Answer with Carlos
QUESTION:
I’ve noticed recently that my cocky and funny and confidence from reading your stuff has given me a good amount of popularity among people in my college. Not just with girls, but male friends as well.
Within the past few months I have got A LOT of new friends added to my phone and people often rely on me to plan and organize social events and little group gatherings.
The problem is, there are so many people who want to hang out with me its hard for me to find time for them or plan things with any of the few groups I hang out with.
I know this question doesn’t have a lot to do with dating. But more towards the social life of an Alpha man.
How do I keep track of all these people? It’s starting to get confusing for me…
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
It feels good, doesn’t it?
A sudden increase in your social network.
Being in demand for once instead of ignored…
And no matter what we may think about popularity, and how we turn our noses at it, it sure does feel GOOD, doesn’t it?
I used to be a real loner. I remember this time in high school when I got a school jacket with our school colors and everything. Now, I was a poor kid, and I couldn’t afford to buy one, but apparently they accidentally gave me it thinking that I’d ordered it. It fit really nice, too.
I wore that jacket around and felt … proud. I felt like I finally BELONGED. I wasn’t weird or different than the others around me. I lost my teenage maladjustment for just a week or so. I got along with people better and I felt more social. And then they found me out. The teachers realized I didn’t buy the jacket, so I had to give it back.
After I got over my initial disappointment, I thought that I had just been ACTING confident and feeling socially valuable that whole time from the jacket. And now I was going back to my old self again.
The reality was that my old self was the ACT.
And the other part of my new reality was that nothing changed about ME, just my thoughts.
The jacket didn’t give me squat. I just acted on a BELIEF.
It was my own insecurities and beliefs about my place in the school pecking order.
For two weeks I was part of the “in crowd” based on a stupid school jacket.
Funny, huh?
Now, it took me years to get over those feelings of inferiority and insecurity, but I did. And when I did, and I discovered that I could have as many friends as I wanted, I started to respond to this sudden social wealth in my life by wanting to be a part of it all. I did my best to make sure no one slipped through the cracks.
Some did, but the ones who lasted were the ones I counted as friends.
Now, you gotta admit – this is a pretty good problem to have, isn’t it?
Tons of friends and an active social life. (A lot of stuff you learned from me, but most of it was already inside YOU, my Jedi pupil…)
Well, guess what? You don’t have to keep track of everyone and everything and keep it all organized. You can just go along for the ride.
Most guys WISH they had this problem in their lives, so I’m sure I’ll get emails about how all the readers want to start a charity in your name.
Uh, yeah, sure.
Anyway…
Here’s an idea or two for your social logistic problem – get an iPhone,
or some other kind of PDA. Keep all your contacts and numbers in there.
Then put together a few parties and events and make sure everyone is invited. Enjoy your newfound social network.
And you’ll get a lot of new friends from the friends that they bring.
A wider social circle…
More women in your life… (Which is the usual side-effect of a healthier social life…)
And then all your free time gets used up because you’re now socially valuable. This is what we call a “high-quality problem.”
Don’t bitch about it… Ride the wave.
Because this is what an Alpha Man is – socially desired. He knows that it’s not the anti-social jerk that gets to have all the fun (and the women) in life, but the guy who’s calm and confident in his own skin, and can still be liked by others.
Get more information on how to improve your dating and social life. Make the changes you need to make to get the McLovin, the bedroom action, and relationships that you want and DESERVE to have.
Get Power Social Skills: http://www.powersocialskills.com
I’ll be back with more advice soon …
Your friend,
– Carlos Xuma
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Carlos Xuma
Learn how the Alpha Man gets more success with women – and LIFE…
