Question & Answer with Carlos
QUESTION: What is the best way to ENSURE that you see MORE women throughout the day?
I try to go out to malls and the beach and what not, but it seems like everytime I choose to go certain places, hardly any girls are there like they are supposed to be. I see the most girls in clubs where the environment is wild and the music is overwhelmingly loud! Maybe I should do things like hang around places like the mall for a few hours.
Right now, that’s my MAIN problem, because I’m done with school, so I hardly see anyone. I work in an area where hardly anyone is around.
It’s not even technique problems anymore, because I’ve proven to myself a few times that I can meet a girl from scratch and take it all the way to getting physical with her, but just that I don’t see ENOUGH women throughout the day to meet the amount of women that I need to meet (at least the ones that catch my eye at LEAST a little bit).
…What do you suggest?
– Ryan M.
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Ryan, this is a great question, and it’s one that a lot of guys ask me about when they get on the subject of “day game,” or approaching women outside bars and clubs.
First of all, before we totally bury the concept of bars and clubs, we have to realize that they serve a purpose in a man’s life: Training and Practice!
This is where you go to find a “target rich” environment. Lots of single women who want to meet guys. It’s where you go to have a little fun.
The only problem is that the QUALITY woman you want is not likely to be here.
Next, guys know that meeting women in bars and clubs is a losing proposition in the long run. Less than 10% of guys get a girlfriend from a bar.
That means that more than 90% of all relationships are found in other places.
That means “Day Game”!
And I’ll have to say that you are in a GREAT position, Ryan. You’ve used my programs to get past many of the technique issues that were probably holding you back – knowing what to say and what to do – and now you’re just in need of a happy hunting ground.
Here’s the raw truth: You’re going to find that approaching women outside of bars means a less concentrated environment. There simply aren’t as many places to meet women in packs like this.
HOWEVER – the trade offs are worth it.
Here’s why:
1) You meet women where you naturally ARE during your day, which means you have things in common right off the bat…
2) You meet the women who are alone or on their own all the time – (the lone wolves)
3) You don’t have an environment that works against you the ways bars do. In bars and clubs you have to fight the noise, the crowds, the aggro drunk guys, the music, the haters, among other things.
4) Women are much more relaxed and natural during the day. Her “shields” are down, Scotty…
The list goes on and on.
So how do you find the women to approach in the daytime?
Simple: You do a little more research.
There are a few more variables to help you, and that is that you have to find the locations that suit you first. THEN you have to visit them at different times to find the optimum.
Just remember, Ryan, nothing is a SURE THING. But when it comes to calculated risks, which one of these sounds more interesting to you:
– The crowded, noisy, “buy me a drink,” game-playing environment of the bars and clubs…
– The natural, relaxed and friendly environment of the real world, where people are cool, and you can make your approaches a part of your everyday life…
Where you don’t have to act like a crazed chimpanzee on ecstasy, running “routines” and stacking “techniques…”
I have a feeling I don’t have to sell that one too hard. You get the point.
Now, there are some very concentrated environments you can go to during the day to boost your success rate.
Try these:
– Malls and shopping centers (Guaranteed to have crowds on the weekends)
– Speed dating (GREAT for practicing guaranteed approaches)
– Singles events and parties
– Online dating (it’s not technically “day game,” but when you know how to do it, it ROCKS)
– Coffee shops (Constant flow of neighborhood regulars)
– Farmer’s markets and outdoor events
Again, the list goes on and on.
Just remember this – to paraphrase Henry Ford: “Whether you think there are women or you think there aren’t, you’re probably right…”
If you set out and start to compare meeting women at the coffee shop with meeting women in a bar, you’re going to be disappointed every time.
For one, she’s not dolled up to show off her legs and cleavage. She’s being REAL in a REAL environment, which means she won’t have the immediate drool factor, but at least you’ll know what you’re getting before the pancake makeup and pushup bra comes off.
Which means you actually have a real shot at finding the quality women who don’t go to bars.
Which, I hate to say, is most of them.
Once you get day game under your belt, your game EVERYWHERE will skyrocket.
The idea is simple, but powerful: Day Game means approaching women anywhere and everywhere you go in your everyday life. You don’t have to go out of your way to find them, but you need to be ready for them when you do.
If you want to learn more about the most important skill a guy can have in dating, go read more here:
Your friend,
Carlos Xuma
