Question & Answer with Carlos
Do you need to be good looking to attract women?
This week we’re going to do something a little different. I want to point something out in this email that will hopefully help you on a much higher level.
You’re about to be pulled into…
(Dramatic music starts here…)
THE MIND OF CARLOS XUMA.
(The crowd gasps…)
Seriously, what I’m going to do in this letter is explain to you how I come to my solutions for the questions that guys ask me.
You see, what I did early on – when I was learning this stuff for myself – was to have these internal conversations with myself.
(You might remember this from a previous newsletter I did.)
CARLOS’ INNER VOICE: “Carlos, are you taking any medication for these voices in your head?”
Well, it’s not like I’ve got multiple personality disorder here. I’m just like everyone else out there. We ALL talk to ourselves when no one else is around.
This “inner dialogue” actually determines the course of your life, and how successful and happy you are.
ANY-ways… Let’s get right into this letter, because it’s important. It’s about whether or not you have to be good looking to attract women.
______________________
QUESTION FROM A READER:
My problem of attracting women is nothing but my looks. Let me be honest here Carlos. I am 17 years old, less than average looking guy. No beautiful women seems to be interested in me and they also never look at me. I do not mean that I am nasty looking or arrogant.
I am always clean and normal but the problem is that I am less than average looking. And I am also insecure because of that.
So Carlos can I attract women into my life? Is there any hope for me?
Will I get beautiful women to be my girlfriend by using the strategies in your Dating Black Book and Alpha Man program?
– Anil
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Well, my friend, you’ve come to the right person to let you in on a little secret about attraction between men and women.
You see, a lot of guys think that you need to be good looking to get beautiful women.
This is completely un-true.
CARLOS’ INNER VOICE: “Really? I thought we all want an attractive partner…”
Yes, we do. But physical appearance and attractiveness is COMPLETELY subjective – meaning: ‘in the eye of the beholder.’
And here’s why…
First of all, let’s go way way back in time…
CARLOS’ INNER VOICE: “Oh, man… a history lesson.. just give me a pickup line, man…”
Hold your water there, dude. This is important.
In evolutionary terms, the woman that was the most successful in getting a quality mate was the one that would most likely have successful offspring.
If she chose well, her kids survived. If not… Well, it was pretty harsh back in those days.
CARLOS’ INNER VOICE: “So….?”
So good looks is not the most important factor in choosing a successful man. Aesthetically pleasing, but NOT what she looked for in a man up front.
CARLOS’ INNER VOICE: “So what qualities is she looking for?”
For one, ambition and drive. That quality of a survivor.
For another, confidence. Confidence tells her that you wouldn’t wimp out in a crisis.
For another, independence. She knew a man wouldn’t be clingy and needy and looking to HER to make all the life-changing decisions.
These are the “Unconscious Triggers” a woman wants to feel.
CARLOS’ INNER VOICE: “So you’re telling me that all those women who buy those Hollywood magazines at the grocery store don’t think those guys are hot?”
Good question. I didn’t say looks are irrelevant. Just not as important.
You see, looks and image sell magazines. And because GUYS are hung up on a woman’s appearance, only a guy would marry a woman based solely on how hot she was.
In fact, this is why guys over-estimate the importance of looks. They assume because looks are what THEY want, that the woman must be looking for this, too.
Women need a lot more than the appearance.
Let me ask you this…
Have you ever hung out with a girl who you thought was just so-so in attractiveness, but had SOMETHING that just turned you on to her?
CARLOS’ INNER VOICE: “Yeah. It was weird. She wasn’t really that hot, but I would have jumped her anytime…”
Chances are that certain “something” that attracted you was her ATTITUDE. She probably challenged you and teased you right back.
In fact, I’ll bet your estimation of her “hot-ness” was much higher than any man would have judged based on appearance alone.
I used to work with a gal named Kim who was about a 6 or 7 on the traditional “scale of 1 to 10.” Her teeth were a little uneven, and she had to be pushing 40-something.
BUT Kim’s flirty, playful, sexy behavior pushed her up to at least an 8 or 9 on most guy’s hotness scales. Ask them why, and most guys would shrug and tell you they didn’t know what it was.
And they all wanted her. Go over to Kim’s desk around lunchtime and there were usually 3 or 4 guys there. No joke.
Well this Attitude Factor is TEN TIMES more important for women. Because she’s always evaluating you (i.e., calculating your VALUE) based on how safe and how secure she would feel with you. And since she couldn’t just ask you how confident and secure you were (face it, we’d all lie) she had to learn how to figure you out.
Looks don’t tell her if you’re going to be a good provider or a confident man. But the way you BEHAVE around her is a DEAD giveaway.
CARLOS’ INNER VOICE: “Yeah, I notice that guys who act all wussy never get the hot women.”
THAT is why I focus so much on how guys ACT around women instead of how they look. These unconscious “Triggers” are what you need to pull to get her attracted to you.
For every “Brad & Angelina” beautiful couple you see out there, you will find just as many average (and WAY below average) looking guys who have figured out this principle to date beautiful women.
Chances are you’ve heard yourself saying: “What’s she doing with HIM?? I’m ten times better than that dude…”
CARLOS’ INNER VOICE: “Heheh… Yeah. All the time, in fact.”
I’ll tell you what she sees in him.
Alpha Man Attitude.
Cocky, confident, and fun. Through and through.
So in answer to Anil’s question if you will get a beautiful woman with my materials…
It depends. If you do these two things, you will:
1) Learn these “triggers” that I teach and make some changes in your life…
and…
2) Break free of your self-limiting belief that your looks are what’s making you feel insecure.
You said: “…the problem is that I am less than average looking. And I am also insecure because of that.”
It’s not.
It’s what you choose to THINK about your looks that’s stopping you from being confident, secure, and showing that unstoppable Alpha Attitude.
These self-limiting beliefs are the anchors that keep you stuck in old habits and bad results.
And whether you believe it or not, thoughts don’t just “happen…” YOU control them.
Remember what I always say: “We’re all self-made in life. But only the successful admit it.”
If what you’re doing isn’t working, it’s time to try something else.
Learn the how to Trigger women to desire you…
– Carlos Xuma
