Question & Answer with Carlos
QUESTION:
I’ve always wondered why my mom told me that line about women wanting to be treated like a princess. She basically raised me (my dad was always away for work, and eventually they got divorced.)
And whenever we talked about girls when I was in high school, she told me to always treat a woman “nice.” I assumed this meant that I should treat her like royalty, and that the more I adored her, the more she’d love me back.
Now I’m finding that what you say is true: Women really don’t want a man that gives them what they want. They seem to want the guy they CAN’T get.
Why do women tell guys this message when it’s so clearly wrong?
-Jim, Memphis, TN
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CARLOS ANSWERS:
It’s not just wrong, Jim, it’s downright DAMAGING.
You’re right that women do give off mixed and confusing messages, and more often than not, it’s not a deliberate attempt to misinform. It’s simply a form of the “Telephone Game.”
Do you remember playing it? Sitting in a circle, one kid would whisper a sentence they read off a card to the person next to them, and then each person would whisper it all around the ring. The last person to hear the sentence would stand up and say what they heard aloud, and then the first person would read the original sentence again.
They were usually completely different, and in a funny way.
The same thing happens inside a woman’s mind. Her emotions communicate to her thoughts. Her thoughts then get translated to her lips as words. And when the final message is picked up by your ears and interpreted by the Male Mind, the meaning is almost totally different than her original intent.
You have to remember that women speak “Emotion-ese.” And it’s not a tongue that guys are particularly savvy to.
Here’s the message YOU hear:
“Women want me to be a Nice Guy – to treat her like a princess.”
Here’s what you DO (all of them wrong, by the way):
– Buy her gifts.
– Giving in to all her requests and demands.
– Fear her anger.
– Avoid her emotions.
Now, here’s what women REALLY mean when they say, “I want a Nice Guy…”
TRANSLATION: “I want a man who won’t MIS-treat me, AND he makes me FEEL like a woman – more than I can for myself.”
The ultimate proof of an Alpha Man – the factor that decides whether she loves or she leaves – is the feeling of completion in HERSELF that she feels when she’s with him.
You see, it’s not like that hokey Jerry Maguire “You complete me” nonsense. No one really completes another person. That’s neurotic, dysfunctional, and doomed.
What completes a woman is the way you bring out the best in HER.
How do you do this?
By providing a masculine power and presence around her at all times.
– Instead of buying her something (which feels like prostitution more than affection), give her an experience like she’s never had before
– Instead of giving in, CHALLENGE her. Show her a man that can handle the temporary disapproval of a woman. (More and more rare these days, but ask any sane woman and she’ll tell you it’s a requirement.)
– Instead of fearing her anger, remember that respect is always more important. No woman respects a man that fears her. Stop using television sitcom husbands as role models.
– Instead of avoiding her emotions, let them flow past you like the wind. They are made of as much substance. After her storm has passed, your ability stand and ignore her “acting up” is what separates you from the boys who run scared from unfamiliar experience.
The Alpha Man always acts with his best interests in mind – knowing that if she is the right woman for him, those best interests are also HERS.
She doesn’t want a Nice Guy; she wants an Alpha Man that knows how to hear what she’s FEELING, not what she’s saying.
– Carlos Xuma
http://www.datingdynamics.com
