Question From A Beta Guy

I am soooo beta..that I make other beta males look alpha.

As a child my father would tell me that guys like he and I will never get the good looking girls or the top job positions so we should not even try. I know it is not true, and the tapes are helping alot, but I still have that screaming in the back of my head whenever I talk to someone.

Any recommendations to help with my lack of self esteem? Also, I noticed that most guys who do great with girls and business are not only alpha in attitude, but also have a head full of hair or if they are bald/balding are at least tall and muscular.

This question I know is dumb, but can a guy that is 5′ 7″, balding, but decent build also do well? Getting tired of people informing me that I am losing my hair or that I am short.
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CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:

Well, even though you say you feel the question is dumb, you know INTELLECTUALLY it’s not right, but on an emotional level you suspect it really could be true. At least, that’s how it feels sometimes, right?

Your concern is one that many other guys share, but we also know that this doesn’t help you in your situation. If you’re like me, you’re tired of hearing people tell you to keep your chin up and that some great women will come along for you … someday.

If you’re like me, you don’t care about the fact that there are other guys in the same situation, you just want to FIX THE PROBLEM.

So let’s do that.

With a little tough Alpha Love. That’s what I’m here for, bro…

FIRST: You’ve been on an uphill battle for a while. You might want to consider hiring a professional to help you in your situation. Yes, a therapist.

Just choose well. I mean, REALLY well. Most people just stick with the first person they find because it feels so good to have someone LISTEN to you for once that you stop shopping.

Trust me: There are quite a few quacks out there that would like nothing more to dig into your childhood for years and string you along with no results in sight.

(You’ll find that the only kind of help you ever want to have in your life – from the guy who cleans your pool to the one that helps you get over some personal issues – is that he measures himself by RESULTS. NOTHING ELSE MATTERS!)

Get over the whole daddy issue as fast as you can. Yes, it sucks that he was a whipped dog, and it sucks that he wasn’t man enough to keep his low status from impacting you. But now it’s time to get past it and prove him wrong.

SECOND: Short is not an issue. Short is a state of mind.

Put some lifts in your shoes and get over it. I know a 6 foot 4 inch guy that uses a lift to gain another inch or two.

THIRD: Balding is not an issue. Bald is a state of mind.

Shave your head, change your hairstyle, whatever, but force yourself to get over it.

Ask women if they think Patrick Stewart (AKA Jean Luc Picard on the show Star Trek: The Next Generation) is sexy. I find that about 80-90% of women dig him. And his hairline is pretty much gone, baby, gone.

Now you said that you’re tired of people informing you that you’re losing your hair and that you’re short.

Sorry, but somehow I can’t picture you talking to a woman and she just says, “Hey, did you know you’re short?” or “You know what? You’re balding.”

I think what’s happening here is that your oversensitivity to the topic has you locked in a death-spiral with your own self-image. She says, “I’m dating someone else right now,” and you hear “You’re short.”

When a woman isn’t attracted to you, it’s not because of your looks. It’s usually a combination of factors in your ATTITUDE.

Look, if you think that all business leaders (and leaders in general) are tall with a bunch of hair, that is most certainly NOT true. Go online and look up the pictures of a great many of the presidents and CEOs of companies.

You’re guilty of something that’s called “emotional validation.” What this means is that you have already formed an opinion (probably more like a belief at this point), and you only see the evidence that supports it. Because you need some excuse for why you are where you are with women that is NOT your fault.

ANYONE can find ANY evidence to prove ANYTHING if you look hard enough.

Look, I’m pretty entrenched in some of my beliefs, too, but I had to learn how to flex them in order to get the results I wanted.

Remember, if beliefs were absolutely true, they’d call them “facts” instead. But they’re not.

It’s time to start choosing a different set of beliefs for the life you want.

I guarantee you that the guys who are short and balding AND successful with women (of which there are MILLIONS) – these guys do not sit around complaining about the hand they were dealt.

They just get out there and start putting down bets.

Getting yourself on the right path is as simple as finding a good teacher. I might be able to help in a few spots, and you might need a few others as well.

But remember that your job is to simply NOT QUIT.

That’s it. If you can persevere and work on these skills, you can and WILL overcome any limiting beliefs you have.

Your job this week is to go out and seek out the CONTRARY evidence. This is the evidence that you overlook all the time because you are constantly trying to validate this false belief that only good looking guys get women.

Trust me, it won’t take a whole lot of looking to shoot that belief down in a great billowing ball of flame and smoke.

And I’ll see you here next week to get more of what you need for your attraction ability and your Alpha Lifestyle…

– Carlos Xuma

Home of the Alpha Man, the Free, and the Brave: http://www.thealphalifestyle.com