Is virginity really necessary anymore? Prepare to be offended.
Hey, I’m a 21 yr old guy and after deciding to lower my expectations a few years back I got with a girl and lost my virginity. Usually if she’d had a history I wouldn’t go there. Now I REALLY regret my decision to be with her and especially sleep with her.
Point is, this re-affirmed for me that a virgin lady would be the only suitable for me. How do I go about finding one and if I do is she likely to reject me because I did not wait for her?
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CARLOS XUMA’S UNPOPULAR OPINION ON THIS SUBJECT:
While I do respect your desire for a woman who hasn’t been with another man, I don’t share your interpretation of what you came away with from your first time experience.
But I will say that if you want to find a virgin woman, you’re going to have a real tough time.
Mostly because women lie about this all the time.
(As do men.)
Sorry to tell you this, but humans are horn-dogs at heart. Men and women.
Sexuality is normal and necessary.
What does this “virgin” status REALLY mean to you?
If it’s that important, than you should start going to church or religious organizations to meet women. Mostly because virginity is simply not the social norm anymore after a certain age.
Think about it for a second…
Imagine if you met a woman who said she was a virgin, and you and her got together and had a wonderful life together. Then, at the ripe old age of 80-something, she tells you that she wasn’t really a virgin when you got together.
Does your last 60 years together suddenly turn to crap because of that confession? Does everything suddenly change?
I don’t believe so.
If it did, it would be because you MADE it that way by reverse-engineering your experiences. Looking back on your life and suddenly changing the meaning of all the good events to bad.
That’s what ‘regret’ is.
I also believe that regret is one of the most USELESS emotions. Learn your lesson and move on, but leave regret for someone else. You can’t change the past.
I’m not saying this is right or wrong, or that you’re even wrong for desiring it. I just want you to really look at your belief system a little closer. Ask yourself the hard questions, and then get an answer.
Find out the REAL “why.”
The real message I’m trying to get to you here is that connection between people doesn’t need to be complicated, but we seem to make it like that.
Don’t create problems that don’t exist yet. First find a woman, then deal with the virginity, then deal with your own lack of it.
Then you can deal with how she feels about it. You can’t solve problems you don’t even have yet.
I, for one, still think you did the right thing by losing your virginity and removing that hang-up from your life. I’ve seen guys go through 40 years of virginity (just like the movie) and they are complete sexual train wrecks because they have no experience with women.
They really do act weird around people because they have lived a life of repressed desire.
I do sincerely hope that the person reading this now does not offend themselves with my words. But if it happens, I will tell you that I will have no regrets.
Live your life the way you want to. But don’t live your life according to a belief you either don’t understand completely, or haven’t thoroughly examined.
The Alpha Man lives his life on his own terms, and not on the dogma of other people.
And that even includes what I say.
– Carlos
