The Late Bloomer Syndrome – How To Attract Women
DATING ADVICE QUESTION:
First just to let you know is that your tips and knowledge has made me grow into a more confident ‘Alpha’ male. I am bit of a late bloomer in the looks and confidence department. I guess I have always been the ‘Beta’ male most of my adult life.
Since reading your work I realized that I have been off target to where I want to be in regards to my confidence as a man and my feelings about how I am in a public space socializing and especially speaking to the opposite sex.
I have to be honest. I am very happily married to a beautiful woman (inside and out) and have kids. I am very much in love with her and most of the times we have a very healthy sex life.
My problem is I have been a voyeur of beautiful woman and guess very much attracted to just about any female I come across. Always getting a high in flirting and pushing the boundaries via flirting. I guess I have an addiction to beautiful women, and now even more so, the hard-to-get ones, the ones that have already placed themselves on a pedestal.
… Just letting you know is that I pride myself on family and love for my wife but I know this urge to satisfy my Manly ego and confidence is something I guess a male human needs IMO. It’s not getting any easier knowing that my confidence is rapidly building and my courage to speak with the opposite sex is picking up a lot! Yes it’s a rush and yes I don’t think it will stop!
Once again Carlos, I’m a late bloomer in this kind of practice and I’m really enjoying the new found skills and tools I have gained from your work.
I’m sure you don’t promote married men like me to play dangerous games with other woman.
I just know my urges are not going away and that I’m better off being skilled in this area rather doing it with my eyes closed and not knowing how to do it with no-strings-attached with no backlash.
Regards
Jack B.
‘late bloomer’
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Wow, it’s interesting that you wrote this, Jack, because this is actually a common experience for many guys.
I went through this myself, and this is the cycle:
– Guy isn’t too good with women, turns into a “late bloomer“
– But he gets a girlfriend – or wife
– Guy discovers a sense of calm confidence in his relationship that frees up his mind to other exploits
– Guy realizes there are techniques to attract women that he didn’t know about before
– Guy gets good with women on the side and wants to make up for being a “late bloomer” – do a little catching up on all he missed out on…
– And sometimes Guy realizes he may have settled a bit and wants to trade up (Not in your case, Jack, but VERY common)
One of the reasons this happens is because when you’re in a relationship with a woman, your confidence is better than when you’re single. It just IS.
Mostly because you’re getting regular (or at least occasional) sex, and you know you CAN get a girl.
This relaxes your anxieties about women, and you start to see through the Matrix, as you have. With this new found confidence comes a “safe zone” where you start to flirt and experiment.
And since you’ve got a more relaxed vibe – already having a woman in your life – you’re much better with women than you ever imagined.
And you start to feel that ITCH…
Because you know that you don’t have as many notches in your bedpost as you could have, and you know that you probably settled way too early.
Men need to go out and sow their “wild oats” – as do women. The problem comes when we jump into a relationship for security too soon, and never satisfy that need to fool around.
Sure, I have a few friends that I know of that are married to their high school sweethearts.
But for every one of these couples still together, there are HUNDREDS that didn’t make it.
And I can still bet a lot of money that those high school sweethearts are even itching for a piece of “strange” to satisfy their curiosity.
So what good does this do you in your situation?
Well, just realize that you’re going to be SORELY tempted to stray when you realize just how easy it is to use what I teach you to get women. I get letters every day from guys that are CRUSHING it with women using this stuff.
You’re right that I definitely do NOT promote playing games in your relationship or marriage.
But the reality is that your sex drive overrides any rational thought on your part, and any notions of “morality” that may enter your head.
That’s why we have so many problems with priests who can’t stay celibate.
Restraining our natural sex drive is UNNATURAL and downright near impossible.
And you should be able to FLEX those flirting and seduction muscles without compromising your relationship.
In fact, it’s absolutely necessary to have these skills when you have a girlfriend.
Why?
Because when you know that you have no problem with women or attraction, you’re going to feel more confident with your girlfriend and expecting the best. You won’t settle.
You’ll always know that if things don’t work out, you’ll be just fine.
That removes the weird emotional vibe that a lot of guys fall into with their girlfriends when they feel “trapped” in a relationship – and lack the confidence to move on if that makes sense.
And women can sense when you’re a guy with options, and she’ll work harder for you, instead of taking you for granted. She’ll appreciate what she’s got, because she’ll know that she’s got to keep earning you – every day.
So consider yourself a normal guy, Jack.
Every normal red-blooded male feels a pull to conquer more women. It’s our cross to bear.
Society may shame you for this natural impulse, but we men need to celebrate it.
And congratulations for discovering one of the greatest “superpowers” a man can have – Alpha Masculinity and the power to attract women at will.
You’re right – it IS a rush!
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