How to get her attention without being needy!

by Carlos Xuma · January 17, 2014

You enjoy her company…she makes you feel so good, you’ve never met anyone like her. You suddenly realize you want her to be your girl…

You sent her flowers, gave her stuff to show her how much you care…

Anytime she needs you… you drop everything just to be with her. You’re totally dependent on what makes her happy…

You get a little scared and start the barrage of texts…”where are you?”, “who are you with?”, “please answer!”

And just when you feel the need to tell her how you feel… she pulls away from you. Leaving you wondering, What went wrong?

Here are tips on how to get her attention without being to obvious…worst! Too needy.

How To Get Her Attention – Tip #1: Take care of YOUR needs first

Don’t give up what you normally do just to be with her. Make sure your plans do not depend on what hers are.

For example: You’ve always had Friday nights planned with your buddies…to hangout, watch sports, drink beer. When she calls, you ditch your Friday tradition just to be with her…thinking, you want her to be happy.

That’s good. You want her to be happy, but what that tells her is how your happiness is dependent on her.

And what happens is…either she’ll be turned off by the smell of neediness OR she’ll fully take advantage of you, knowing too well that you’re willing to give in to her every request. Women HATE it when guys let them walk on them like rugs.

Remember, if you want to keep her in your life, you need to be self-reliant meaning you’re able to do things on your own. When she sees this, she’ll make time to be with you.

How To Get Her Attention – Tip #2: Don’t give her too much, too soonInvesting all your emotions, effort, and time will only set you up for failure! Don’t send excessive text messages or call her over and over.That will only scare her off before you even get the chance let her learn about you.Be cool.

Relax.

And just be with her…

It’s like playing poker…you don’t go ALL IN unless you have the assurance that you really do have the WINNING cards. If you put all your chips on the table at an early stage…what happens?

YOU LOSE.

How To Get Her Attention – Tip #3: Get to know her…and let her get to know you too

Hang out with her. Take her out on a movie, your friend’s birthday party…all the cool stuff that YOU normally do. Just “happen” to include her along the way.

Make her see what an interesting LIFE you have already. That’s how you’ll make her comfortable with you.

And when you’re together, take the time to COMPLIMENT HER, just make it thoughtful.

For example: “You handled that really well”, or “You were awesome with my friends – Jeff liked what you said about his car”, or “I love how you look in that dress – that color works with your eyes”.

Make sure your compliments are genuine, and the way to do this is to be REAL about it. Be open to what you really do like about her. (If you find it tough to compliment, or it feels like a stretch, you might ask yourself what you’re doing with her at all.)

The important thing here is for her to get a glimpse of who you are, and that you’re a good guy (not a “Nice Guy”) and she’ll be lucky to have you.

It’s a HUGE opportunity for you too to see how she is beyond the first date. Because that’s where she will show her BEST to make a good impression. You need to know who she REALLY is, in case she pulls a “Jekyll & Hyde” on you.