Why You Can Attract Women without a Ripped Physique
Maybe the six-pack gods didn’t give you a set of washboard abs. Or perhaps you’re not the most athletic guy out there.
So what?
Maybe looks can give you an edge when it comes to picking up women. But, this isn’t the only thing that matters in attraction or dating.
Case in point: Think of the not-so-ripped guys you’ve seen walking around with a hot woman by their side. Yeah, even average dudes like us can level the playing field by using a few simple tricks:
#1: Trigger Her Auditory Response System
Having something worthwhile to talk about is vital when approaching a woman.
Just don’t skip one important detail:
Aside from what’s coming out of your mouth, you also need to pay attention to the tone and quality of your voice. Most guys don’t understand the visceral effect they have on women when they talk in a certain way.
When it comes to talking game, you can flip the attraction switch in head by speaking slower and in a lower tone than usual. Women are hardwired to give you a positive response when you hit those lower registers.
Of course, you don’t want to sound unnatural by sounding like you’re impersonating Darth Vader. You just have to make some slight improvements to make a huge impact on your approach.
Here’s a tip: Resist the urge to say everything on your mind in one long, incoherent sentence – that’s what nervous guys do.
Also, do you find yourself speaking in a higher pitch than usual when you’re feeling tense during a conversation? If so, make a mental note of this habit and STOP yourself the next time it happens.
This is another giveaway that you’re uncomfortable in your own skin, so remove this unattractive trait. But it’s cool if you’re not feeling that confident yet since you’re still learning this stuff.
Besides, everyone has to start somewhere, right? Even public speakers feel anxious right before facing the crowd, although you wouldn’t know it by looking at them.
And that’s the real trick! Just because you’re not exactly feeling confident doesn’t mean you have to show it.
#2: Know Thyself
The problem sometimes is that you might not be able to tell if your voice is hitting that “sweet spot”. As you might know, there’s a big difference between how you think you sound and the way your voice actually sounds to other people.
That’s OK though. All you need to do is get someone (like a close friend, relative or vocal coach) to listen to you talk. Practice by reading an excerpt from a book and have them take note if you’re talking too fast. The same goes if your voice goes up as you go on.
You could also try having a mock conversation with the other person so you can work on improving the quality of your voice on the fly.
But if that’s not possible, you can always use a webcam instead (and a good mic if you can) to make a video of yourself while talking. It might be a bit awkward watching yourself, but it’s a good way to find out how you sound to other people.
Remember when I mentioned public speakers earlier? Compare your style to that of motivational coaches or stand-up comics.
Those guys get paid to talk to large groups of people, so you can learn a lot from their vocal quality.
A little self-awareness never hurt anyone. The more you learn about yourself, the better chance you’ll have when talking to women.
#3: Get Physical With Her
Warning: I don’t mean making a pass at her or any inappropriate behavior. It’s more about using your own physicality to appeal to a girl’s subconscious with the right body movements.
Women will perceive you as a high value guy by gesticulating in a way that reflects your cool, collected attitude. Again, you may not be feeling up to it inside, but you can “fake it ‘til you make it”. You just have to practice subtle physical motions to suggest your alpha maleness in an implicit way.
When it comes to good body language, think of operative words like BIG and OPEN. Do your homework and check out videos of professional speakers to get a good idea of how they move with their arms and hands.
Remember, acting like you’re embarrassed for just being there is a big turn off. Whether you’re seated or standing, it’s a good idea to spread out a bit to give the impression that you “own” your space.
Don’t cross your arms, stuff your hands in your pockets or anything else that suggests you’re “shrinking”.
If you want to look smart when talking, your hands are great tools to help emphasize any point you’re making. And when she’s the one talking, pay attention with a slight nod or even a light chuckle if she says something funny.
When you think about it, it’s kind of ironic that using your body to be more attractive to women isn’t the same as looking like a male model. You can even the odds by focusing on your voice and movements, regardless of your shape and size.
As long as you pay attention to these often overlooked aspects of alpha male behavior, you’ll do fine without those rippling muscles.
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