5 Things You Can Do Today to Become More Alpha

Approaching women, knowing what to say and how to act around them are all part of a guy’s toolkit. Without it, attracting women would be next to impossible.

But there’s another part of the equation that you need to take care of to be an Alpha Male in the most complete sense of the word.

And that means transforming yourself, one step at a time.

A huge part of being attractive to women is about cultivating an attitude and mindset that help you successfully interact with the opposite sex.

Even mastering the best pickup lines and approach methods won’t be as effective without that inner core. It’s that seemingly elusive quality that makes a man a dyed-in-the-wool Alpha male.

So what I’m trying to say is that you can benefit from a personality upgrade. And it’s not impossible at all to pull off.

This isn’t an overhaul and you don’t have to change who you are inside. I’m just asking you to uncover the best version of yourself by taking that first step.

#1: Lay Off the Labels

This is the first milestone in your personal transformation. It’s a simple shift in thinking, but it will have a profound effect on your life.

Most of the time, we label ourselves without even knowing it.

It’s a very insidious habit that undermines everything we do, and it’s time you called it out.

Make a mental note when you feel that inner voice slapping you with negative labels, such as:

• The Guy Who Never ____________ (insert habit or action that you’d like do more of)
• The Guy Who Will Never be ___________ (insert adjective or ideal state that you strive for)
• The Guy Who’s Always ______________ (insert negative trait that you don’t want to define you)

The moment these thoughts creep in, cut them off like a noxious weed so it doesn’t take up space in your head. Just because you feel the urge to indulge in self-labeling, it doesn’t mean you have to obey it.

#2: Look Better

Your looks are what they are. You need to deal with the hand you’ve been dealt with, plastic surgery notwithstanding.

But the way you present yourself to the rest of the world? That’s different.

Your sense of style is, in many ways, like putting on a uniform. Policemen, soldiers, doctors, and anyone else working in a professional capacity dress up to represent a purpose.

As for the Alpha male? His purpose is to succeed on all fronts, whether it’s social, financial and personal.

Now ask yourself: “Do I dress in a way that represents my purpose? Do I present myself in a way that encourages people to take me seriously?”

This is where a good sense of style comes from.

You can start by making small changes to how you take care of yourself, like eating at least one healthy meal a day (e.g. more greens and protein, less sugar/carbohydrates), drinking more water and exercise.

The same goes for facial matters (i.e. your skin and hairstyle along with any beards or mustaches) and the way you dress.

Think about the image you want to project (e.g. geeky/intellectual, corporate, alternative, athletic or a combination of these) and find the clothes that truly suit your personality. Little by little, replace key parts of your wardrobe until you’ve made a dent into your overall look.

A gradual but inside-out approach to self-care is the way to go. Even just reading up on the basics of eating right, working out, dressing appropriately are effective motivators.

Doing all of this gives you a sense of control and responsibility, as opposed to doing nothing and feeling bad about yourself.

Remember, you don’t have to be a nutritionist, male model or a health nut just to look better. Find the information you need online, and ask the experts in your social circles to get firsthand tips as well.

It isn’t meant to create instant results, but they will gradually put you on the path to a better lifestyle. Just choose to adapt small habits throughout the week and let them snowball into something bigger later on.

The less you have to worry about your looks, the more you can focus on meeting people and building relationships with them. If anything, streamlining your image is basically removing social barriers.

#3: Make Room for Growth

Taking responsibility doesn’t stop with taking care of your looks. The Alpha male also seeks out new opportunities for personal development.

And much of that has to do with trying out new things outside his comfort zone.

Enriching experiences build character and expand your worldview, naturally making you more attractive to women.

For example, you can sign up for a course or class to learn something you’ve always been curious about (but never had the nerve or time to do it until now). Everything you’ve wanted to know about is just a Google search away (as with tip #2).

Think about the benefits you’ll get from picking up an instrument, learning how to cook, taking dancing lessons, studying martial arts or taking up photography.

Not only will it give you a sense of accomplishment and build your confidence level, there are entire communities built around these interests. So the side benefit is meeting like-minded folks – and attractive women – in the process.

#4: Seek Inspiration

There’s a reason why “birds of the same feather flock together”, as what some people like to say. Being Alpha is also about being around people who bring out the best in you.

Right now, you can send a text, email or start a Facebook or Facetime chat with these guys. It’s as easy as setting up a meeting or just hanging out with these folks.

Whether you’re hitting the gym, watching a cool movie at their place or shooting hoops, you’ll get the chance to have a conversation. Then sit back and soak in the inspiration.

Just take note that this isn’t meant to make you feel jealous of their success; their own perspective can enrich your own.

#5: Reassess What it Means to “Be a Man”

When we think about the definition of masculinity, the stereotypical macho archetype comes to mind: a loud, obnoxious, beer-drinking, skull-crushing womanizer who bullies other people to get what he wants.

It’s time to replace this outdated mode of thought. Consider the following instead:

• You don’t need to hurt other people or put them down to prove you’re an Alpha male. You just are. There’s a line from the show Game of Thrones that goes: “Any man who must say, ‘I am the king’ is no true king.”
• But it also means standing your ground when it comes to defending your opinions and principles. The true man can consider other viewpoints – better yet, he’s big enough to “agree to disagree” with other people.
• You don’t need the approval of other people to feel superior, which means you don’t have to take others down to look better. The Alpha male is never threatened because he’s already happy with who he is, value and moral-wise.
• A real man can manage his urges and self-serving interests when needed, like for the sake of his friends and loved ones. He knows that being self-indulgent and constantly seeking gratification is the path to weakness.
• Manliness is often associated with – but in no way dependent – on superficial factors, like the size of your paycheck, a full beard, designer clothes, sports cars or tattoos. They’re nice to have, but they don’t make you more of a real man.

Let your brain chew on that for a while. Then, use those guidelines to improve the way you deal with people in general, one day at a time.

Pretty soon, you’ll embrace true masculinity and it will show in your daily attitude. And people around you will appreciate it.

I mentioned the snowball effect earlier, which is what all of these tips are essentially based on. Most of the time, we think that lasting change means drastically altering your way of life in one shot.

But that’s not how transformation works. Taking the steps to change can start today and it will grow exponentially.

Moreover, you don’t need to recreate yourself in order to please somebody. It’s about being happy with who you are by chipping away at those self-limiting beliefs until they collapse right from under.

Being Alpha is like planting a seed. It comes down to whether you want to do it or not.

And when you do, your efforts will grow before your eyes, just click here to find out how.

Stay Alpha…

– Carlos Xuma