Try these 3 Mind Hacks to get you more dates
Most men I’ve helped have felt that gut-deep fear of approaching women. They’ve told me what it’s like to walk up to a pretty girl and feel like they’re wearing this big sign that says, “Please like me”.
If you’ve ever felt this way yourself, then that’s a good thing.
It’s not because it’s healthy to think that a certain girl is better than you (i.e. “She’s out of my league”). However, that apprehension is actually constructive for two reasons.
One, it keeps you on your toes and gives you the drive to succeed with women.
Think about how you feel now; don’t you want to do something about it so you’ll STOP feeling that way?
Second, you need to remember that guys who enjoy massive success in dating started at the exact SAME place where you are right now.
How’s that for motivation?
Now, I wanted to let you in on a pretty nifty way to get your brain to overcome those mental barriers that are holding you back. When it comes to self-development in general (read: not just dating), a great deal of struggle occurs in the mind.
And that’s why you need to shed those self-sabotaging thoughts you might have about yourself. It’s for this reason that you need to REPLACE them with empowering beliefs that will push you in the right direction.
Wrap your mind around this:
#1: Replace “I’m no good with women” with “I am attractive to women”
Ok, you might think this is easier said than done, but let’s break this down.
First of all, you need to make this change on the INSIDE so that other people will perceive you in the way that you want. How can they believe that you’re attractive if you don’t believe it yourself?
You can’t wait for some outside factor to transform you into an attractive guy, like money or physical qualities. All those things are icing on the cake – the way you perceive yourself is what women REALLY pay attention to.
There’s one sure-fire way to come across as a high-quality, self-respecting guy. And that’s dropping the behaviors that make you look like you’re kissing butt.
FACT: groveling will undermine a person’s respect for you.
Yet, a lot of men keep doing it anyway and aren’t aware of it. Usually, it’s in the form of the “Oh-you’re-so-beautiful-can-I-take-you-out” vibe that guys put out.
For instance, they love telling women how attractive they are, which is something they’ve already heard a million times. It’s either that, or trying to get women a drink as an excuse to talk to them.
These are supplicating behaviors that amount to following message:
“I’m not attractive enough to talk to you, so I need to get on your good side with compliments and by bribing you.”
An attractive guy wouldn’t dream of giving women that vibe. He’d go in and approach them knowing that he’s their equal – no matter how much he makes or how he looks.
#2: Replace “Women find me boring” with “Women think I’m interesting”
Again, you need to toss those negative assumptions out the window, and there’s a good reason for that. Why drag yourself down by thinking you won’t be the most interesting guy she’s met?
There’s no real evidence to support this belief in the first place. So it’s better to assume that you are, in fact, an interesting guy regardless of the other men she met before you.
Even if you don’t feel this way, you need to act like it until you become the interesting guy you strive to be.
Assuming that you’re already that guy will empower you with the attitudes needed to actually become HIM – it’s a bit of a paradox, but it works.
#3: Replace “I don’t feel comfortable approaching women” with “It’s OK to approach women – and like them”
Some guys might think that there’s something inherently wrong with finding a girl attractive. Worse, they’re afraid that acting on this feeling will come across as offensive or inappropriate.
I get it – they don’t want to overstep their boundaries with someone they like. But just remember that as men, we’re biologically programmed to seek out an attractive partner.
It’s in our genes, and that basic mechanism is the reason why the human race is still around in the first place. So as long you respect a girl’s boundaries, it’s totally cool to find her attractive AND approach her.
I realize that simply reading these statements won’t turn you into the attractive guy you want to be. This is why you need to drive these thoughts deep enough into your mind until they become your reality.
Try telling yourself these things right before you get out of bed and when you’re about to hit the sack. But don’t stop there – imagine what it would be like to be that successful guy acting on those beliefs.
For example, create a scenario where you approached a beautiful girl, had a conversation with her and made plans to meet her again. Be as detailed as possible – think about how you acted, what she said and how you behaved all throughout.
Using those empowering beliefs, work up an appetite for a successful future to the point where you can TASTE it.
At the moment, your inner reality doesn’t accurately reflect what’s going on in your life.
Maybe a few bad experiences have convinced you that you’re just not successful with women.
But NOW is the time to take that belief and turn it on its head.
You can, in fact, shape your inner reality to influence your actions in a positive way. Then, the resulting behaviors will help you shape the outcome you desire.
This is the path to become the Alpha Male you’re meant to be. And I have a little something to help you in your journey.
Stay Alpha,
– Carlos Xuma
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