3 Steps To Winning Back Your Girlfriend

We’ve all been there…

You find this one girl, this one fantastic girl. You woo her – and you win her.

You make all these crazy good memories together.

You hump like insane rabbits every chance you get.

You find yourself thinking crazy thoughts, like maybe even … gasp … marrying this girl someday. Maybe popping out a baby or two.

And then something changes…

One day, she gets a little cold toward you.

She starts arguing with you over small things.

She isn’t as sweet as she once was…

Maybe the sex slows down – or stops…

You begin to wonder why you don’t see each other as much…

Maybe she even cheats on you with some guy. Maybe even someone you know who’s a total douche.

Your heart is broken, but you want to win her back.

One of the worst situations for a guy is being stuck with the task of winning back your girlfriend.

But it’s also the most painful, which means a guy is more likely to do something crazy and compromise his dignity to win his ex back.

My buddy Carl had this exact situation play out with his girl. He won the girl he dreamed about, the girl he’d had his eye on for over 10 years.

When the opportunity came, he grabbed her up…

Things were great… at the beginning.

But then she started acting weird and it started to unravel for Carl.

Within a few months, he was drunk, crying, and curled up on my bathroom floor for six hours, screaming the nastiest insults you can imagine to her on the cell phone he’d eventually stomp into a million pieces.

I don’t want that to EVER happen to you.

So right now I’m going to give you some realistic steps for getting your ex girlfriend to want you again.

The risk I’m taking on you is that, if I don’t tell you that JUST SAYING THIS ONE THING will win her heart, you’ll just go right back to Google and keep hoping that there’s something magical you can do.

Some “trick” that works “every time” for winning your girlfriend back.

Hey, I get it. I’ve been there. And more than once.

It freaking sucks to lose her – especially if it’s something you could have done to fix it before it got so bad that she broke up with you. You get irrational and impatient, thinking that if you can just do something in the next couple hours, before it’s too late, you can win your girl back.

And unfortunately, it’s that panic mode that is most likely to make you do something detrimental that will ruin your chances for good. So hold off…

And stay with me here. Don’t let that burning pain of losing your girlfriend keep you from reading the reality I’m about to reveal to you.

Let’s get going with: 3 Steps For Winning Back Your Girlfriend

How To Win Her Back – STEP 1: Reality Check

In study after study, they’ve shown that there is ONE thing a human being works hardest for in life.

Do you know what it is?

We work ten times harder to win something back that we lost than we do to keep it in the first place.

The reason is quite simple: We feel loss vividly.

But no guy sits around contemplating that they COULD lose their girl. That’s just too painful.

We don’t go there if we don’t have to.

Men are naturally wired to want smooth waters. We don’t need emotional turbulence, and we actively avoid it every chance we get.

So why would we ever imagine that this girl would leave us?

Well, we start to feel insecure when she shows the signals of being unhappy.

But the unfortunate part is that women are excellent at hiding and cloaking their feelings. And by the time you pick up on her vibe, she’s already started unplugging emotionally.

And then it’s a hundred times harder to win her back then.

But here’s the deal – just losing a girlfriend makes you want her back – even if the relationship completely SUCKED.

Yup, even if the girl was a complete bitch that only put out once every month, you’ll STILL wish you could get her back.

You see, the pain of loss makes you start thinking: “You know, it wasn’t THAT bad. She was mean to my mom, she liked to kick my dog, and she hated the movies I loved… but that’s okay.”

We start re-engineering our memories of the way things were to suit our needs. Suddenly a crap girlfriend seems more like our dream girl, as we selectively remember only the good stuff about her.

So you need to do a REALITY CHECK…

Take out a piece of paper – yes, you can open up a text document on your computer or tablet, too – and really start to inventory what was good and bad with your ex girlfriend – before you decide you want to win her back.

Just draw a line down the middle, and put the good stuff on the left side, and the stuff that you didn’t like on the right. You might even want to use a highlighter and mark the stuff that was particularly good or bad for the important stuff.

Bottom line: Unless the good outweighs the bad by AT LEAST 2 to 1, it’s probably not worth trying to win that girlfriend back.

Just let her go poison some other guy’s life, and keep that spot open for a girl who not only WANTS the position, she’s going to appreciate you the way you want.

Oh, I’ll warn you that if you find a theme of disrespect for you in the “BAD” side of your list, you don’t even need to tally it up.

Just ignore the good side and recognize that a woman who disrespects you is the worst kind of partner in the world. Ask any divorced guy and he’ll tell you that.

Remember my friend Carl?

He found the girl he’d had his eye on for 10 years and finally won over was actually a slut who had been seeing 3 other guys the whole time they were dating.

And the real insult?

She only let Carl have sex with her two times the whole 4 months they were dating. That was it.

It’s a harsh lesson to learn, but sometimes you gotta know that she’s not good enough for you to move on. That you’re better off without her.

But let’s say you haven’t lived out that horror story – and this girl is someone worth keeping. Hey, maybe YOU were the one to screw it up.

That brings us to:

Get Your Girlfriend Back – STEP 2: Find the Fix

A lot of guys go crawling back to a girl that they messed up with, and all he’s got are lame promises about how he’s going to “do better” and “it won’t happen again” – when he doesn’t really even know what the problem was.

Do you have a clear understanding of why she broke up with you? Or, if it’s the other way around – why you broke up with her?

This is the most vital intel you can have because there is a chance that she broke up with you out of frustration – and she did it to kick you in the butt.

And for her to try again, she’s going to need to hear how you’re planning to fix whatever broke before.

If you know that she was unhappy with how much you expressed your feelings when you were together, now is the time to come up with a good plan for changing that for her.

Because… she’s going to ask – or at the very least want to know what you’re going to do to make it different this time.

That’s the “logical” part of her brain that’s holding her emotional brain from just jumping back into your arms. So you have to address it.

The good news is that it’s pretty simple. Just take whatever her complaint is and come up with a workaround.

If you didn’t spend enough time together, find a way to carve out a few extra minutes here and there to make her happy.

If you hung out with your friends too much for her taste… well, don’t ditch your friends. Just increase the time you two get to meet up so that she feels like she’s getting a bigger share.

Yup, pretty much every issue she has with you could probably be solved with “more time.” That’s one of the secret fixes that you can use when the time comes to tell her how “this time is going to be different…”

(Secret Tip: You don’t really need to spend more time with her – you just have to make her FEEL like you’re spending more time with each other.)

Which leads us to the third step in the proces…

Winning Your Girlfriend Back – STEP 3: Make Your Play.

Look, I know there are a lot of “gurus” out there who tell you that you should wait for 6 weeks before you contact her again after the breakup. Because you have to respect her distance, and you have to let her really miss you.

The problem with that strategy is that she’ll probably just use the time to find another guy and get over you faster.

Yeah, I cringed, too. It’s too horrible to imagine, so let’s not do that. It’s not an option.

The best thing you can do is to come back quickly with your solution from step 2 and present it.

You simply wait 3-4 days (not too long, but you do want her to start missing you.) Let her heart ache a bit, and then you swoop back in.

What you do is:

– Text her this on a weeknight you know she’s probably not too busy: “Hey, I had a realization about us… thought you might like to know”

That text is left sounding kind of unfinished on purpose. You have to get her curious enough that she can’t resist responding.

When she does, move on to:

– Text her this: “Got 5 mins for quick call? I’d rather tell you in person…”

This will ease her mind. She’ll be okay with a call, because that’s not very threatening.

When she agrees:

– Call her.

Start out by telling her how she was right about you. Blah Blah.

You gotta start out by validating her feelings, or she won’t listen to anything you have to say. Do it without sounding like you’re being sarcastic, or that you’re not sincere.

Yeah, sometimes you gotta act a bit.

Finally…

– Tell her your plan.

Reveal your solution to her like this:

“Hey, I realize how there were mistakes. I realize you might not want to recapture the romance we had again, but I wanted to see if you think the solution I came up with is what you were looking for.”

Then, wrap it up: “So anyway, that’s it. Thanks for letting me bend your ear. I gotta get going.”

Yeah, that’s it.

I know, I know. You’re saying, “But wait, I didn’t ask her to get back together with me!”

That’s the point. We are opening the door and inviting her in, without putting pressure on her.

If you ask her, she’ll feel put on the spot – which makes her feel obligated to give you an answer right there and then. She may feel like she needs to stick to her guns.

But this way I just gave you, you can safely show her that you’re still that guy she wants to bang, and she has an invitation to come back.

If she asks you why you’re telling her this, you just say, “Look, I just wanted to show you that I realized what needed to be fixed. And that I’ve grown. I wanted to thank you for that.”

Then you can let her off the phone and let her brain stew on the possibility for a while. She’ll be talking herself into it while you wait, and you won’t have to do a thing.

You’ll be hearing from her in no time at all – if she’s interested, she’ll let you know.

If she starts talking about “missing you,” it’s pretty much assured that she’s just looking for the right excuse to get back together.

Let’s face it – if she’s gone for good, NOTHING you say will really matter. But THIS strategy will give you the absolute best chance to turn it around.

Because there really is no “guaranteed” way to make her take you back. There is no grand romantic gesture you can make – like standing outside her window playing Peter Gabriel’s “In Your Eyes” from your boombox.

Sometimes you just gotta do your best… and let the chips fall where they may.

And there you go… a simple 3 step method that will get her back into your arms.

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