How To Be a Better Boyfriend in 4 Easy Steps

When was the last time your girl asked your help with something? Maybe it was her wi-fi at home, or that time when she got a flat tire on her way to work.

Whatever it was, it’s an awesome feeling when you’re able to get your woman out of a jam. It fuels your inner Superman knowing that you’re looking out for your loved ones.

The thing is, there are times when your lady won’t want you to actually help her out. And if you try being Mr. Problem Solver, she’ll just get worked up and even show you the door.

What gives?

You just wanted to make her load lighter, but now you feel like crap because you can’t be there for her like you want to be.

Well, here’s some food for thought: being a good partner means understanding when you don’t have to roll up your sleeves and do the work for her.

Here are some ways to help her without actually helping her:

#1: Shut Up and Keep Your Ears Peeled

Ok, so the one time you shouldn’t dive in and break out a solution is when she’s venting to you over something that’s bothering her.

You’ve probably experienced this yourself. There she is, talking about her rotten co-worker who, according to her, is a “Grade A bitch who’s out to bring me down with her.”

Being the no-nonsense dude that you are, your brain goes into crisis management mode. So now you’ve come up with a detailed response plan on how to handle her nemesis at work, but your lady isn’t hearing any of it.

Instead, she’s even angrier than before. All you wanted was to give her some sage advice, but she threw it back in your face.

You’re there, scratching your head, wondering what the hell just happened.

Well, the first thing to do in this situation is absolutely nothing aside from lending an ear to her woes. Resist the urge to chime in to “fix the problem” because that’s not what she wants from you.

Let her vent her emotions and just listen to what she has to say. Trust me, this will help you move along to the next step.

#2: Remember: It’s Not Really What She’s Mad About

The point then, is that she simply wants someone to listen to her as he lets off some steam in your ear.

That’s the reason why she talked to you about it, anyway. By letting her walk you though the latest chapter in her personal soap opera, you’re actually solving the immediate problem.

And that problem is that she’s pissed off, regardless of what caused it in the first place. So, your role as the good boyfriend is to make sure she gets it all out of her system so she can go back to being functional in the world again.

Be there for her, but step aside and let it happen. After the dust settles, she’ll have the clarity to actually do something about that horrible co-worker of hers.

In the meantime, embrace the emotional turbulence.

#3: Validate Her Feelings

So now that you realize that her wrath needs to run its course, you’ll be able to offer a different kind of help.

Aside from listening to her, you can also make her feel that you get her pain. Simply acknowledging her emotions is already a solution in itself.

That’s why you should interject with statements like, “That sucks”, “I’m sorry to hear that” or “God, I can’t imagine what that even feels like.” These are all soothing words designed to remind your lady that she’s not alone.

You can even offer to hold her hand or put your arm around her shoulder, but again, try not to actually say anything like, “Well, this is what you should do…”

If you’ve done enough of this, she’ll be in the proper frame of mind to hear your actual solution to her problem.

#4: Tell Her What’s On Your Mind

When she’s ready to listen to you, it’s still important to be gentle with your advice and avoid any criticism. Remember, the point is to make her feel that you’re taking her side against the big, bad world.

So, don’t forget to inject a healthy amount of empathy in your suggestions. Don’t just come in with guns blazing.

Instead, say something like, “Have you considered doing…” or “What would happen if you tried…” As long as your counseling rather than giving blunt orders, she’ll be able to process your words without taking it the wrong way.

Above all, keep in mind that she’s a WOMAN. That means she’s operating on a different wavelength than your buddies.

With your guy friends, you can give them straightforward advice that will be received with no complaints. That’s not how your lady works, though so she needs an entirely different approach.

I know it feels a little funny playing Dr. Phil for her, but sometimes you need to do stuff that doesn’t exactly feel natural to you. Nevertheless, this is one of the best ways to be supportive in a long-term relationship.

Speaking of which, you can improve your relationship by making sure she’s always attracted to you. And that means harnessing your Alpha Sexual Power, which is every man’s masculine essence.

Click here to learn more about it.

Stay Alpha,

– Carlos Xuma