You miss every shot you DON’T take…
QUESTION FROM A READER:
My story I am a guy on my 20’s had no success with women throughout my years, I have your material and I love to gather a lot of material but taking action is a problem,
I have managed to take action after reading your newsletter that motivates me as a pain to take action, going out there and approaching,
But another BIG problem – I can only say hi talk a little bit ask about a observational opener and then say bye and leave, can’t stand there and then ask for women’s number,
however my great interests is in older women, I haven’t had no success with women in 3 years now, no girlfriend, no women… and worst even no girls as friends.
I want to turn these around and have dates and get physical,
Your help will change my entire life, or I am afraid I will stay lonely for the rest of my life.
______________________
CARLOS XUMA ANSWERS:
Zaheer… Your problem is not uncommon.
Many guys who are inexperienced with women want to gather as much information as possible about this once they learn that there is a better way to meet women.
The problem arises when you get addicted to the gathering of information instead of getting focused on the actions you need to take to succeed.
There’s a ton of stuff you COULD do – but most of it doesn’t work because you don’t have a plan to just apply it.
Honestly, you’re actually ahead of about 80% of guys just by being able to say Hi and start the conversation. That’s actually a HUGE step, and it shows that when you apply what I’ve taught you, you’ll go far.
I have to tell you that it’s just fine to have tastes in “older women.” But restricting yourself this way right now is actually detrimental. You’re making it harder for yourself by being a bit too picky at this point in the game.
You’re not out there trying to rule the dating world and meet your future wife… you’re only PRACTICING.
That’s it!
Drop the pickiness and get practice.
Most guys who fall back on the “I only like…” reasoning and picky behavior is often a cover-up for reluctance to meet more women.
It’s usually a lame excuse.
So your next step is to simply keep doing what you’re doing now, and notice that when this part becomes ‘easy’ for you, you’ll naturally want to go further.
And the next step for you is to simply ADD more conversation to what you’re doing.
And the part you need to add is this one sentence:
“Hey, it was great talking to you… You know what? We might want to continue this conversation sometime. Give me your number and we can stay in touch.”
Or you can say “facebook” instead of number.
Or you can say “email” instead.
Doesn’t matter.
The point is that you are simply accepting that you’re not asking her for her number.
Some voice in your head is talking you out of it.
You think you can avoid “rejection” by not asking, right?
But the result is the same.
You still don’t have her number. And now you’re also practicing “failure” by failing to ask.
Just use what I just said. Start gathering numbers.
Do this over and over.
Because you can’t get anywhere until you get over this hurdle in your game.
Get out there, keep doing what you’re doing, and just push a little further each time.
Remember – you miss every shot you don’t take.
Stay Alpha…
– Carlos Xuma
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