Find the Perfect Woman
If you’re like most guys, you probably want to find that ONE cool girl to have a long-term relationship with. Contrary to what you might see in the media, a lot of men aren’t actually into the “player” lifestyle, i.e. sleeping with multiple women at a time. You’d like to have that ABILITY, but the actual lifestyle is not your goal.
After hundreds of seminars and coaching calls, guys are interested in seducing that sexy, loyal and fun lady that they can then turn into a GIRLFRIEND.
But for most guys, going from casual to hot and heavy is a complete mystery.
They think that closing the deal with a woman – especially if you don’t know her that well – is as likely as winning the lottery. And that means that when they do get a woman in their bed, they’re likely to settle on her as being the best they could get.
They either lower their standards, or they create a sub-standard relationship that is less than their ideal vision of what could have been.
Well, guess what – I know plenty of average dudes who’ve hit it big with hot, brainy women and now enjoy a wonderful relationship.
And they didn’t have to play the lottery to accomplish it.
I knew it was possible for these guys because I was the one who taught them – and I’m going to show you, too.
Great Conversation: Talking the Talk
So, what does it take to get a woman hooked on the first date?
It all boils down to saying the right WORDS with the right FEEL. Once you’ve got this down, everything else will fall into place. It really is that simple.
Apply the right combination of words, and you’ll unlock that barrier standing between you and her – and your bedroom.
1 – Get Her Attention
So first of all, you’ll need to be an interesting guy to talk to. Ok, I know that sounds a bit nebulous, so let me break that down for you.
Keeping your girl enraptured with the conversation is as simple as having enough ‘stuff’ to talk about.
Ever notice how things get stale when you let those long, awkward pauses creep in?
There you are, desperately trying to think of something to say while she’s waiting for you to fill in the silence. It’s not a nice place to be.
You just need to keep the ball rolling so that she’ll NEVER have time to be bored.
A good way to prepare for this is by having a good list of “back pocket” topics to talk about. You can switch between them throughout the night, giving you plenty of room to maneuver and never hit a dead end.
Back when I was learning this stuff, I had a note on my phone that had a shorthand list of topics to draw from. If my mind ran blank, I pretended to “check my texts.”
Look back to any funny, exciting, or otherwise intense experiences you’ve had before. Similarly, look up current events, weird news, or trivia to draw from. (Do you know “Bono” from U2’s real name? I do.) Don’t forget to have a subject you’re really into that you can throw out in a goofy and interesting way (e.g. music, movies, art, quantum mechanics, dental hygiene, etc.).
This is good material you can use for stories or anecdotes that you can work into the conversation. And quirky = good.
Of course, you’ll also want to get inspiration from the unexpected stuff that will come up during your date. However, it never hurts to come in prepared with some ready-made stories to use.
It may sound stilted now, but you’ll thank yourself after jumping into a topic you know when the conversation starts to die or get awkward.
2 – Enthusiasm is Key
Ok, while saying all the right things is important, it’s just as necessary to say them the RIGHT way.
When salesmen or motivational speakers drive home a point, much of their persuasiveness comes from their delivery. It’s now a cliché that over 90% of our meaning in communication comes from everything else BUT the words we’re saying.
That’s why you need to project an enthusiastic energy when you engage your date in a conversation.
Speech trainers are excellent guides to projecting a powerful, deep-from-the-gut voice that’s paced like a professional speaker. Look to them if you have a problem talking too fast or fall into a high-pitched, pinched voice when you’re nervous.
There’s a certain pattern to the way “socially valuable” guys speak. Observe how they do it using their resonance and deep breathing.
In fact, famous people – like standup comics and life coaches – do this all the time. They’ve practiced their stories and conversational bits a hundred times over until they’re totally comfortable in their own skin.
You can do the same by simply talking to people aside from women. Practice is the name of the game – think of your conversations with them as a social experiment and take note of the results.
3- Be Feisty
You’ve probably heard of that elusive “Alpha-ness” that a lot of men strive for. And that has to do with having a certain kind of fearlessness around women.
For instance, attractive men are good at being confident enough to poke a little fun at a woman without worrying about her approval. Or he’ll have the guts to disagree with her if he has a difference of opinion.
A typical “beta guy” would be too afraid to “rock the boat” and stick to being polite, agreeing with everything she says (even when he doesn’t agree) and being the perfect gentleman.
That’s fine if you want to be just friends, but NOT if you’re in the business of seducing her. Sexual attraction requires stirring up the energy.
You have to create some healthy sexual tension between you and her to kick start this party.
If there’s no “thrill of the chase” or a good-natured back-and-forth exchange, it takes the sexual chemistry out of the equation.
Don’t be a wimp – call her out if she’s being cheeky or is having a little fun at your expense. If she says something you don’t necessarily agree with, speak your mind and push back on it a little.
You know how you and your buddies bust each other’s chops? It’s sort of the same thing, minus the dirty jokes, swearing, and bathroom humor.
A little tact never killed a guy. Think of it as shifting from “Rated R” to “PG-13.”
Just a little caveat though – for the time being, lay off anything religious or political if you can. A little ribbing here and there around these subjects could get out of hand pretty quick. Save it for after you’ve been seeing each other for a few months.
4 – Get Emotional
No, I don’t mean opening up to her about your rough childhood or how your ex tore out your heart, poured gasoline on it, and then set it on fire with an acetylene torch.
There’s one aspect of powerful sexual conversation that ties together everything we’ve discussed so far: FEELINGS.
Your conversational skills should be directed toward a single purpose, which is to tug at her emotional strings. Everything that comes up in your conversation should make her feel a myriad of emotions, such as fear, shock and excitement.
Remember the part where we talked about telling stories? Don’t walk her through a dry, boring narrative of events – that doesn’t do anything to start her lovedrive.
Instead, your stories should be packed with little tidbits that will set off emotional depth charges in her heart.
The better you are at using feelings-based details (“It felt humiliated”, “That guy wanted to rip my head off”, “The kids were running around like wild monkeys”), the bigger rush she’ll get from being around you.
That said, it also helps to talk about the stuff that gets YOU pumped, like your extreme sports hobby or your cool job (add those emotional embellishments, remember).
All of this makes you a well-rounded guy who lives life to the fullest. More importantly, it creates a sense of excitement for her that she might be a part of it soon.
5- Pulling In the Home Stretch
If her brain isn’t swimming in a cocktail of feel-good emotions just yet, there are a couple of other measures you need to take.
Put her brain in romantic mode by asking her key questions that get her out of her comfort zone. Getting her to think and talk about romance is a sure-fire way to get a rise out of her even more. But you can’t just bust out something like, “So, when was the last time you made love like a wild ferret?”
Instead, you’ll have to layer the topic with a little context before pulling out the big guns. To be subtle about it, casually mention something nice that you saw in a movie or heard about from a friend:
- “By the way, I caught “13 Going on 30” the other night. Rom-coms aren’t really my thing, but it kinda struck me how connected Jennifer Garner and Mark Ruffalo’s characters were. Just seeing them have share and explore those deep feelings for each other was pretty cool. Have you ever felt that way about someone before?”
- My cousin got married last week – she seemed so happy to take that step with her husband. They had a crazy Victorian theme too, which made it really memorable and even more romantic I think. Everyone saw how in love they were – have you ever felt that kind of connection before with someone?”
See how “feelings-centric” that was without being too obvious about it? Learn to work that into your conversation, then sit back and watch her get more and more worked up by your questions.
Lastly, don’t forget to get a bit physical with her when you can.
I don’t mean grabbing her butt out of the blue, but finding an excuse to touch “neutral but possibly erotic” areas, like her hand, elbow, or the small of her back (when walking her through a door, for example).
Plus, it creates a push-pull dynamic that turns up the tension on top of everything you’ve been doing so far.
Soon enough, she’ll get to the point where she won’t mind at all letting you in her personal space. And by the time you end the date, she won’t let you walk away.
Seduction is essentially a gradual process, and getting the girl is really about considering the long game.
Remember, Alpha Men are all about stepping up and taking charge. Be the guy who can gently guide a girl through an emotionally stimulating experience.
Once you put her on this path, it will lead your perfect woman straight into your arms.
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