CONFIDENCE – Part 4 – Chill

If you have to wait in line, have a delayed flight, etc., take that extra time as a gift. Use it to relax; do a little meditation, send a short flirty text, or do some much needed Kegel exercises (discreetly, seriously, trust me on this…).

Remember the old adage, “It’s not what happens to you, it’s what you do with it that counts.” You are only in control of you. Don’t huff and puff and make a general impotent ass of yourself. Command yourself to be cool when things get tense.  Not only will you look better, you will keep your head screwed on straight when you need it most. And that screams masculinity.

There’s another thing to be aware of here and that is good old Restless Leg Syndrome. Look around wherever you are in a public space. You will probably see at least one guy sitting with woman and one of his legs will be bouncing up and down like a crack addled kangaroo.

Believe me, gentlemen, the lady notices it. This is a minute self-soothing action, but it certainly looks like a freaky nervous tick and it’s a bit scary. You need to be aware of this when it happens. And knock it off! You must cultivate the art of being still, especially in this crazy world we are living in today.

A perfect example of composure was Mayor Rudy Giuliani when the Towers fell. He was calm, cool, and in control; exactly what the city and the country needed. He was a leader, plain and simple.

He stated, “Make yourself calmer than you feel, force yourself to pretend you’re calm and you’ll be able to figure out how to get out of there if you remain calm. So I kept reminding myself of that. I was in charge, I was the person they were looking to and if I lost it they all would. I would have to say to myself, ‘You’ve got to remain calm, you’ve got to stay focused.’”

As MEN, we need to strive to be more like that in times of stress. Take control of yourself, keep your cool, mind your body and attitude. Realize that other people see you and women will notice if you are in control or not.

Be the calm, serene, center of the storm, especially when your lady is having a meltdown. This will happen, believe me. Most of the time, it isn’t you causing this. She is venting and she needs you to be her rock.

Be reassuring and calm. Never attempt to meet her fire with yours. It will only escalate into a damaging typhoon of screaming and misunderstanding. Be level headed, stay centered, listen to her words and what she needs, and she will stop shortly. She will also respect you more for having been her anchor when she needed you most.

By staying calm, you will cultivate an aura of silent strength. There is absolutely no down side to being cool in stressful times. Use it to your advantage to become a much stronger MAN on the inside, watchful and observant.

You will start to notice all the little nervous ticks other guys are sabotaging themselves with. And then you will smile a little smile to yourself, because you are truly a MAN that can keep your head while all about you are losing theirs.

Go On, Be Strong

Spike Spencer, the Dating Sage
www.DontKillYourDate.com